Baseball season is officially over. Too bad, right? Wrong! The first NBA game is on November 1st, and, personally I couldn’t be more excited. If this year is anything like last year, we’re in for quite a season. It’s been a long layoff since the San Antonio Spurs beat the Detroit Pistons in game seven of the finals, so, let me kick off this upcoming year with my 100% accurate Division by Division NBA Preview. Giddy up.
Eastern Conference
Atlantic Division: (BOS, NJ, NYK, PHI, TOR)
This division is about as bad as Green Day’s new album, so I won’t waste too much time actually analyzing it, just cracking wise. The Northeast is typically the pride of the sports world, what with the Patriots, Yankees, and New Jersey Devils; however this doesn’t really translate into basketball, nor has it since the days of the Nets losing in the finals several years in a row. New York has a new coach in Larry Brown, but his winning ways should be more than offset by the masterful losing abilities of Stephon Marbury. Marbury is a born loser; he’s about as good at winning as FEMA is at.well, you get where I’m going with this. Hopefully new Knick Eddy Curry won’t be too “heartbroken” when the Knicks miss the playoffs again. New Jersey gets my vote as the division winner, with the three-headed beast of Jason Kidd, Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson; the Nets should be able to get the job done in this piece of crap conference. But, Boston and Philly fans should look for potential playoff berths as they have only slightly bad teams, which can go a long way in the East.
Central Division: (CHI, CLE, DET, IND, MIL)
If the Atlantic is pathetic, the Central might be the toughest division in the NBA. With the Bulls and Bucks on the rise and the Pistons, Pacers, and Cavaliers already contenders, the central is going to provide some damn good games to watch. As long as Ron Artest remembers the mantra “Serenity now (insanity later)” and can keep his antics to a minimum, the Pacers will win this division by a very close margin over the Pistons and Cavs. The Pistons have the same team as last year and the Cavaliers added Larry Hughes, Donyell Marshall, and Damon Jones to play with “God’s Gift to Cleveland.” Look for the Bulls to have a slight drop off after last year’s miracle season and for the Bucks to improve after their awful 30-win season last year.
Southeast Division: (ATL, CHA, MIA, ORL, WAS)
Ok, I feel it’s safe to say that Miami is going to run away with this division; anyone who disagrees probably murders puppies. Charlotte and Orlando just don’t have the pieces yet to compete, and Washington, while good last year, will drop off some after losing Larry Hughes to Cleveland. The Hawks are about as qualified to be considered a pro team as Harriet Miers is to be a Supreme Court Justice, in my opinion. Zing! Anyway, with the additions of Jayson Williams and the brick-laying Antoine Walker, Miami has improved on paper, but look for a lot of inconsistency from night to night. Still, they still have Shaquille O’Neal and Dwyane Wade, so this inconsistency won’t hinder them too much. As a side note, let’s hope 2005-06 is the year that Pat Riley’s well-oiled hair finally catches fire. What? I can dream, can’t I?
Western Conference
Northwest: (DEN, MIN, POR, SEA, UTA)
This division really intrigues me. Has Seattle lost too much to contend? Can Denver keep pace with head coach “Furious” George Karl? Will Kevin Garnett carry the ‘Wolves to the playoffs? Can Carlos Boozer ever get over his negative Karma from double crossing a blind man? Can Portland players put down that purple haze and play basketball? I’m sure we’ll all know the answers to these questions, but, I’m going to give the division to the Denver Nuggets, or as they’re more affectionately called, the Nugs. Why the Nugs? Mostly because Earl Boykins is the cutest li’l Beano I ever done seen on the basketball court since Spud Webb. Nullus.
Pacific: (GS, LAC, LAL, PHO, SAC)
Well, the Zen Master, otherwise known as Phil Jackson is back coaching the Lakers, but I would have to be crazy to pick the Lakers to take this division. It’ll be Phoenix again, but there’s no way they’ll win over 60 games. They are definitely going to miss the backcourt firepower from Qeuntin Richardson and Joe Johnson. Plus, Amare Stoudamire is out for a little while with a bum knee. Oh, and they play crappy defense. All these aside though, there isn’t really anyone who can challenge a healthy Suns team. Sure Golden State will be fun to watch with Baron Davis and Jason Richardson, and Sacto will put up bucket after bucket like every other year, but Phoenix still takes this one. The Los Angeles Clippers have been intentionally omitted from this discussion, in case you were wondering.
Southwest: (DAL, HOU, MEM, NOK, SA)
Four out of the five teams in this division made the playoffs last year. Can you guess who didn’t? Well, it wasn’t the Spurs, that’s for sure. Look for the Defenders of the Alamo to win this one with ease, again. Adding Michael Finley and Nick Van Exel all but insures them not only the division, but probably a repeat. Dallas and Houston will have good seasons again, as neither team has really lost any integral pieces, and attempt to challenge the Spurs for Texan dominance. Memphis might be decent and the Hornets will be atrocious, but you already knew that.
Well, that’s it. Shout out to my boy Cam’ron Giles. Get well soon. Dipset all day, every day.