So I was going to review a place called Sapphire for this week’s Student Life…
I went there and it had a pretty nice image. You can get a feel for it on their website…
But I’m not sure what that conspicuous seared tuna is doing there. The food, unlike the ambience, is bland and uninteresting. Their options include cripsy orange beef, cashew chicken, and pad thai, and for those with wilder desires they offer some tilapia and salmon. (Don’t believe the dinner menu on that website. For the purpose of this review it is a lie-half that stuff wasn’t available when we went on Friday)
Soo we ordered things like $15 pad thai, plus some for shrimp, so like $17 pad thai, and once it got to the table we kind of forgot the fact of the price and enjoyed our meal. Afterwords we sat and reflected because I wanted to do a more objective food review by getting thorough opinions from everyone about their food. Everyone’s all “not bad! hum hum!” and then we’re like… wait a sec. This was like a cheap asian food meal, worth like 8 bucks tops. What are they thinking? They are going to fall out of the market with this nonsense! They can’t possibly exist when Noodles and Co makes competitive pad thai at less than half the price!
My table reached this epiphany and we were considering it incredulously when our attention shifted to the table over where our server was conversating with a few regulars. Our server, who despite being very friendly was also rushed and seemed frazzled, was just answering a man who was tooting the restaurant’s horn (“yup! best tilapia in the nation no doubt about it!”) with a “too bad it will be the last time you ever have it–” dun dun dun!
We investigated. Turns out the place was closing on Saturday, the very next day in fact. The restaurant was going to be replaced by another generation of Pi. Reflecting on this mysteriously led my mind astray. I began thinking thoughts like “How fortunate that we came here today! What luck, and the chefs must have been cooking with their hearts wide open today!”
A moment later, the novelty of the situation having been fully processesed, I realized that there was really nothing fortunate about having gone to Sapphire on its last day. The food was mediocre and overpriced, and while the world would soon punish them we were there to suffer their last crime. Furthermore, this meant I would have to quickly find some other place to review for StudLife (or, as one friend suggested, highly recommend that no one goes there… or recommend pi lovers to give them a try. Huck huck.)
PZ