
Bernell Dorrough
Sitting down with Brad Duesing, Student Life inquired about all the important issues in life: the Vikings, Nelly and Kobe Bryant.
Student Life: Rapper P. Diddy reportedly wanted to buy a stake in the New York Knicks. What other rappers would make good sports franchise owners?
Brad Duesing: What other rappers? Probably Jay-Z, maybe because he actually has enough money to afford a professional sports team. I don’t really think rappers know much about sports.
SL: We all learned about the “Randy Ratio,” where Minnesota Vikings head coach Mike Tice planned to pass to star wide out Randy Moss about 40% of the time. Is there a “Duesing Denominator,” a plan to get you the ball a certain amount?
BD: I’d like to think so; I want to be able to make plays for the team. But I don’t think coach Kindbom says, “I think we need to have Brad touch the ball 20 times a game for us to win.” It’s more just the entire offense.
SL: So it’s thirty times, right?
BD: No, I don’t think so.
SL: What is your favorite end zone dance, if you have one?
BD: Last year we did the Tecmo Bowl High Five but we might have to change it up this year because we got flagged last year against Rochester and the coaches are kind of getting on us.
SL: Now for the people who don’t know, what is the Tecmo Bowl High Five?
BD: You just kind of do a running jump and give a high five in the air.
SL: We’ve recently made a lot of progress in the war on Iraq, capturing key Iraqi government officials including Chemical Ali. Better interrogation technique: Chinese water torture or forced showings of the Ben Affleck bomb “Gigli?”
BD: Probably water torture ’cause you can always just stare at J-Lo, which isn’t too bad.
SL: What do you enjoy doing outside of football?
BD: Pretty much just hanging out having a good time with my friends, watching college football.
SL: Nelly: with band aid or without?
BD: I don’t remember the last time I saw him without, so I am going to have to say with.
SL: Italian chocolate spread maker Nutella recently dropped Kobe Bryant as its celebrity spokesman. How will this move impact your chocolate spread purchasing decisions?
BD: I’m thinking it’s not going to affect it to much ’cause I have not seen a commercial with Kobe Bryant in Nutella.
SL: Favorite football videogame?
BD: NCAA College Football 2004
SL: What are the big games for your team this year?
BD: Big games? Trinity’s always a big game ’cause they are one of the best teams in the nation every year. And Chicago, who we’ll fight for the Founder’s Cup.
SL: What is your best accomplishment to date, besides being interviewed by Student Life?
BD: Probably receiving a pre-season All-American
SL: You, along with defensive back John Woock, have been named pre-season All-Americans. Is there a lot of pressure to live up to the billing?
BD: Yeah, because Coach looks for you to be a leader on and off the field, and it’s a big role stepping up, just coming in as a freshman and people not expecting too much.
SL: And are you also roommates with the QB?
BD: No, he transferred to Ohio State.
SL: Is it because of something you said?
BD: Football wasn’t as big as he thought it’d be here.
SL: So how is the team looking this year?
BD: We’re going to have a solid defense with Mel Bartoul up on the defensive line, Rick Schmidts at middle linebacker, and John Woock patrolling the secondary, so I think we should have a pretty solid defense this year. And the offense, we have a new quarterback coming in, Matt Alley, and we are really starting to click now after two-a-days and I think we should be all right once Simpson comes around.
SL: The political world has gotten a lot more interesting lately with the entrance of Arnold Schwartzenegger into the race for the governor of California. I’ve also heard that former “Different Strokes” star Gary Coleman has also entered the race. Would you like to use this opportunity to announce your candidacy? On what platform will you be running?
BD: No, I do not want to run for governor. I really have no clue why he’s running for governor. He kind of sounds slow when he talks. I don’t think he’d do a very good job.
SL: What if Arnold loses the governor’s race? Where does he go from there?
BD: Probably make another Terminator. Terminator, what, like 4 or 5?
SL: So back to the movies?
BD: Probably.
SL: So you’re saying he’ll be back?
BD: Yeah, he will be back.