
Editor’s Note: This article was published in an April Fool’s Day edition of Student Life. Its content is not factual.
Team 31 was excited to announce this semester’s W.I.L.D. headliner, and the pick was met with elation by students.
“Finally, Someone Good is playing at W.I.L.D.,” said senior Izzie McFizz.
Someone Good is a fusion group composed of three members and a 15-person entourage.
Team 31, the student group in charge of organizing the biannual bacchanal, petitioned for extra money from Student Union’s appeal budget with the hopes of finally landing a big name performer.
“Our recent surveys have indicated a desire for bigger and better performers,” said a Team 31 spokesperson. “Normally, we ignore all those surveys, but we figured, what the hell, let them eat cake.”
When asked how they felt about performing at W.I.L.D., Tyler Finny, lead singer for Someone Good, said, “Show me your kitties!”
Of course, having Someone Good comes at a price, and Team 31 was unable to afford any openers. Fortunately, Team 31, a resourceful group, was able to get openers that agreed to perform free of charge.
“We posted on craigslist.com and immediately got a flood of responses,” said Team 31’s Simon Treble.
Team 31 is welcoming Los Del Rio, known best for the “Macarena,” and Aqua, better known for “In the Heat of the Night.” The Team 31 street team was also able to recruit self-proclaimed rap artist Sandwich, star of the Delmar Loop Shell station.
“It’s a great lineup, and we think the crowd will actually come to the entire show,” said a representative of Team 31.
The Facebook group “I <3 W.I.L.D.," formed only two days ago, has already reached 70,000 members. "I'm going to make out with so many chicks. W.I.L.D. is the best," said Stan Browuni.