
Editor’s Note: This article was published in an April Fool’s Day edition of Student Life. Its content is not factual.
Dardick resident and freshman Sean Cassidy has spent the last six months in relative isolation. But all that should change in the coming months.
“With the end of the writers’ strike and the return of some of the floor’s favorite shows, I’m really looking for my popularity to rise,” he said.
Cassidy had one of the most highly trafficked rooms at the beginning of the school year when his TiVo offered a unique entertainment opportunity to a variety of students. Floormate Jonathan Blowdart was a frequent visitor to Cassidy’s room.
“I didn’t really know the guy, but he was watching ’30 Rock’ one Friday afternoon with his door open, and I love that show. He invited me in and seemed pretty cool,” said Blowdart.
This was seemingly a common practice for Cassidy, whose room reportedly often hosted up to 20 students at any time.
“I remember a ton of people there for some episodes of ‘South Park,'” said Blowdart. “But I’m not sure how many of them knew the kid very well. I mean, I think I only learned his name after watching his TiVo six or seven times. Prior to that, I just called him ‘Hey Pass The Remote.'”
Cassidy attributes not only his popularity to TiVo but also his first love.
“My first girlfriend, Emily Swallows, hung out with me because I had every episode of ‘Gossip Girl,'” said Cassidy. “Once the writers went on strike, she dumped me for Kyle Feinberg, who has bootleg ‘Gilmore Girls’ DVDs. Now that the writers are back, Swallows will be mine again.”