Administrators announced last Thursday that, as an added fundraising unit of the Leading Together campaign, Bear’s Den and College Hall will now be rented out as Bar/Bat Mitzvah and wedding locations. After an unsuccessful early push for the $2.

Phil Green, a native of Lexington, Mass., grew up in a luxurious five bedroom home, complete with seven full baths and a half bath in the pool-house annex. Never had he imagined taking to the streets, begging for crusts of St. Louis Bread Co. bread bowls and spare bits of stale Dough-to-Door cookies.

Bravo, the network known for Top Chef and for being gayer than LOGO, recently premiered the pilot of their latest “Real Housewives” spinoff this past Wednesday, set in our very own home city of St. Louis. And if the pilot was any indication, this could be the trashiest edition of “Real Housewives” yet.

Yes, freshman That Kid ruined the curve again. He can’t help it that he got a 107 because of the extra credit limerick he wrote. But in his defense, he literally lives in Olin. Not the way you claim to live in Olin, though, which lacks commitment; sometimes, you leave to go to class or to sleep in your own bed.

Controversy erupted today when People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and student protesters called for Washington University to remove its offensive bear mascot. Protesters marched around the bear statue (yes, it exists) outside the Athletic Complex, encouraging the school to “bear down,” and voiced their displeasure toward the athletic department.

In a move that was a complete shock to Greeks and a complete bore to GDIs, the Washington University Women’s Panhellenic Association announced that a new sorority has begun the process of colonization on campus. Sigma Lambda, Wash. U.’s ninth sorority, has pulled a Mayflower and colonized all up in the Danforth University Center.

In a surprise hire, the Mosaic Project hired an upper-class straight white man from Westchester County, N.Y. to lead its new Center for Diversity and Inclusion.

Social Programming Board finally announced on Sunday night that Childish Gambino will headline this year’s spring W.I.L.D., but he wasn’t SPB’s first choice. In a desperate attempt to break the news of the W.I.L.D. headliner before SPB, Student Life conducted an undercover investigation and managed to get its hands on the original shortlist of W.I.L.D. artists.

So…sports. Yup. They’re pretty cool. Hit things. Running. Yay. The ball goes in the hole. Cheering. Woo. OK, I give up. To be completely honest, I’m only writing this article because the sports writers are all swamped this week and decided to pile their misfortune on Cadenza. Thanks, guys. I guess we can start with the Super Bowl.

Washington University is silently but steadily working to go need-blind by an unspecified date by spending less money manicuring lawns, turning off lights and cutting tenure positions in the humanities, a Student Life investigation has found.