Social Programming Board finally announced on Sunday night that Childish Gambino will headline this year’s spring W.I.L.D., but he wasn’t SPB’s first choice. In a desperate attempt to break the news of the W.I.L.D. headliner before SPB, Student Life conducted an undercover investigation and managed to get its hands on the original shortlist of W.I.L.D. artists.

Welcome to the Washington University community, Class of 2018. We couldn’t help but notice your super-interesting, totally original 20-things-about-you posts, so we decided to do one of our own to help prepare you for your next four years. Anyway, it’s not like we have anything better to do with our time 1.

After Director of Athletics Sean Jael announced his plans for retirement at the conclusion of the 2013-14 school year, the Washington University athletic department began a nationwide search for its replacement.

As the Olin Business School’s new buildings signified a call on Washington University’s ridiculous string of raises with new halls, the athletic department decided to end the round of betting once and for all. Or at least for a year or so before the newly redesigned athletic complex is out of date.

In response to ongoing student protests by those forced to live among the storied perils of Delmar Blvd., Residential Life has decided to add much-needed luxuries to convince students that they aren’t being deported to North County.

Senior Saheel Pateel, former editor-in-chief of Student Life, has fled to Fontbonne University, where he is petitioning for asylum after leaking documents proving that the Athletic Department has been spying on its own athletes.

Administrators announced last Thursday that, as an added fundraising unit of the Leading Together campaign, Bear’s Den and College Hall will now be rented out as Bar/Bat Mitzvah and wedding locations. After an unsuccessful early push for the $2.

Phil Green, a native of Lexington, Mass., grew up in a luxurious five bedroom home, complete with seven full baths and a half bath in the pool-house annex. Never had he imagined taking to the streets, begging for crusts of St. Louis Bread Co. bread bowls and spare bits of stale Dough-to-Door cookies.

Bravo, the network known for Top Chef and for being gayer than LOGO, recently premiered the pilot of their latest “Real Housewives” spinoff this past Wednesday, set in our very own home city of St. Louis. And if the pilot was any indication, this could be the trashiest edition of “Real Housewives” yet.