Mort Mertgang | Student Life Archives

An artist’s rendering of the planned house for Washington University’s newest sorority, Sigma Lambda. The house will be centrally located on the Danforth Campus.

Sigma Lambda, Wash. U.’s ninth sorority, has pulled a Mayflower and colonized all up in the Danforth University Center. It currently features around 50 members in the newly initiated alpha class, although numbers vary widely, from about 130 people when chapter meetings feature free food to about 10 when it comes time to serve the community at 6 a.m.

Sigma Lambda is new only to the Greek scene on campus, as the parent organization has been in existence since 1878, when the initiation dress code still mandated petticoats and whalebone corsets. Similar to esteemed fraternity Alpha Delta Phi, Sig Lam’s roots lie in the literary realm. The alpha chapter will operate under the principles of scholarly achievement, truth and integrity, and first amendment rights, which leaders say are among the most hot-button issues of today’s whippersnappers. Sigma Lambda will also break the glass ceiling of the sorority world by being the first of its kind in the galaxy to accept people of all sexes, haircuts and bodily odors.

“Each day, we will aspire to live lives worthy of the Sig Lam crest and, of course, in ways that would please our esteemed mascot, the penguin, Jon,” said Jorge Norviz, vice president of operations. “If we don’t, we’ll probably just revise our code of conduct.”

Sig Lam’s official colors are black and white and, occasionally, red all-over.

“We have high hopes for attracting new members, but even higher ones for the things we will achieve,” said Nihil Metal, Sigma Lambda’s new dictator. “We’re going to completely redefine the concept of a sorority while simultaneously topping the rankings.”

Even though Sigma Lambda is up-and-coming, the sorority has lofty expectations for the splash it will make on Wash. U.’s social scene. Quite literally, the group has purchased matching monogrammed chevron rain boots for the sole purpose of splashing through that inch of beer and Hawaiian Punch sitting on the floor of every frat house’s basement.

“Sigma Lambda is already St. Louis’ hottest club,” said Maura Garvey, Sigma Lambda’s social chair. “It’s going to have everything: rando people from your freshman floor dry-humping on a couch, fridges full of week-old hummus and human newspapers. It’s that thing where someone passes out drunk and you write headlines on their body in permanent marker.”

Parties will be extremely exclusive, despite the fact that in the past, entire freshman floors and kids in sweaters have been able to break their way in uninvited. It is rumored that not even the executive board of Sigma Lambda will be allowed in.

Recruitment will begin in August, in the form of a pre-orientation program that the Sig Lam council hopes will inspire new students to pledge their hearts, lives and souls to Sigma Lambda for their entire tenure in college and, of course, eternity.

“Once you’re a member of Sig Lam, you’re a member for life. We hope that we will not only take over the social lives of all of our members, but possess their every thought as well,” said Bea Ruchera, vice president.

Members of Sigma Lambda will self-sort themselves into different sub-groups depending on their interests and be required to attend weekly meetings to discuss these interests. Due to all of the suites in the Women’s Building being occupied by other sororities and groups, members of Sigma Lambda will find their home on the third floor of the DUC. The suite will be open to members at all hours, but “will probably be the most crowded on Wednesday and Sunday nights, for inexplicable reasons,” said Jack Bram, vice president of new-member education.

Instead of dues, Sigma Lambda will occasionally ask members to contribute to a joint alcohol/Taco Bell fund. The sorority has yet to choose a cause, but already knows that its philanthropy week will “definitely be like, the most fun and spirited!” Mecca Bristman, vice president of philanthropy, said. “And our Kappa Karaoke dance is going to blow everyone’s minds!”