5 things to do instead of going to a T-Pain-less WILD

| Staff Writer

Imagine this: you’re at week 15 of the semester, notoriously known as finals season. You’re swamped with final exams, essays and presentations, you’ve stopped sleeping and, quite frankly, dropping out seems like a solid plan right now. But there’s one thing that keeps you going despite all of the stress. And that thing is Spring WILD, where the man, the myth, the legend T-Pain will serenade you with his iconic song, “Buy U a Drank.”

Then, in the midst of your excitement while taking a break from your studies and jamming out to T-Pain, you find out he will not, in fact, be performing, because apparently his “vocal chords” need “rest.” You are, logically, crushed by this announcement. As I’m not T-Pain, I can’t cure your ails, but I can give you a list of things to do instead of going to a T-Pain-less WILD.

Go to SLAM Underground
Hosted by the St. Louis Art Museum, this artistic event takes inspiration from the exhibition “Southwest Weavings: 800 Years of Artistic Exchange” and presents different fabrics and materials from around the world. SLAM Underground will be on Friday from 7-10 p.m., and there will be friendship bracelet-making, a prize wheel, a weaving demonstration from the Weaver’s Guild of St. Louis and more! T-Pain will not be there, but you’ll get to have a fun experience while looking at some rad art.

Buy Yourself a Drink (If you’re legal)
You’re not going to get to hear T-Pain perform Buy You A Drank on Friday, and that is objectively disappointing. But, if you’re 21 or older, you can take agency in the matter and buy yourself a drink! In moderation, having alcohol can be fun and relaxing. No one treats you like you treat you, not even T-Pain.

Watch T-Pain’s “Epic Rap Battles of History” Episode
Places T-Pain won’t be performing at: Washington University. Places T-Pain has performed: YouTube’s “Epic Rap Battles of History” series. In November of 2016, T-Pain appeared in an episode as Stevie Wonder. It’s not the same as seeing him live—well, I have no way of knowing that for sure actually, since I won’t get to see him perform at WILD—but you can still watch T-Pain on YouTube.

Have a T-Pain Listening Party
The best way to get over your disappointment about not getting to hear T-Pain on Friday is to listen to T-Pain. Whether you live in a triple in Lee or a Village apartment, every environment is a good environment to listen to iconic songs like “I’m Sprung.” Drown out your sorrows by blasting the sound of Faheem Rasheed Najm’s voice for hours on end. Will your neighbors be able to hear your music? Probably. Will it be a welcome interference? Most definitely.

Take a Nap
As we all know, finals season is a rough time for everyone, and it can sometimes be hard to take care of yourself in the midst of all of the stress. So now that you won’t get to see a living legend perform, you can use the time you would have spent at WILD to get some much needed rest and take a nap. As the kids would say, treat yourself.

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