WILD is this weekend! Did you know WILD was this weekend? It’s this weekend! Whether it’s your first or your 15th WILD (wait, how long have you been here?), here’s a run-down of your favorite people you’ll find at WILD.

The really, really excited freshman

Aw, man, it’s your first WILD. Man, there is so much hype. This is going to be great. It’s just going to be you, your 16 best friends from your freshman floor and a crazy time. What’s that? Your cute neighbor Jimmy is coming along too? Awesome! Jimmy probably thinks you’re cool, right? Maybe you guys will both get super drunk and make out and then never speak to each other ever again! Life is full of possibilities. At the very least, you’ll get spilled on and shoved! You’ll use the Porta Potty! Where is the soap? I don’t know! This is living, man. This is the peak of your life. Nothing better is going to happen to you ever again, SO YOU BETTER ENJOY THIS.

The person who barely made it to WILD

No, Doug, it’s fine that you’ve been blackout since mid-afternoon. You’ve had a rough three weeks of never-ending midterms. It’s fine that you’ve pissed in multiple public areas and taken a frozen pizza that doesn’t belong to you. WILD is where a damn significant chunk of your tuition is going, and you’re not about to waste it. Doug, you’re ready to have the time of your life at Tyga or Kygo or whoever else the kids are here to see these days, even if you won’t remember it. Now, go tell Dean how you really feel about those dumb hat tricks he always does!!

The person who’s been dragged by their friend

Okay, look, it’s not like you have anything against WILD, it’s just…I mean…you could be cozied up in your bed and eating a full sheet cake, you know? And you can’t do that at WILD, because you can’t bring your bed to Brookings Quadrangle, and you’re also probably going to be asked to share your sheet cake. But since your friends are all already in your common room on their way out, you might as well go. Congrats on doing the socially acceptable thing. Now go watch a guy bang on a computer for two hours!

Someone who’s here for the music, man

You’re here to see Magic Man and Kygo. Then you’re going to go home and eat a cake. And frankly, that’s it.

The disillusioned upperclassman

You’re over the hype. You’re not pushing to get into the front row or even the second row or the third row—nah, you’re at a distance, looking over at the waves of kids enjoying something that used to be fun to you. You’re here to huddle in a circle with a few friends and panic, of course! I mean, you have things to worry about. What are you going to do after you graduate? Where are you going to go? How are you going to function as a human in the real world, where you’ll have to think of other conversation topics besides school and the weather? Anyway, WILD means free beer and nihilistic undertones—a surefire good time!