Most Washington University students are probably familiar with the TVs that are constantly showing sports games and news channels in the Danforth University Center and Bear’s Den. There’s ESPN, Fox and Fox News, and the occasional NBC channel shown…but what else? You may not particularly care what channels The Man decides to show us, but we have a few ideas that might be more satisfying to the student body.

PBS:

There are times at Wash. U. where I have the sudden urge to just veg out and watch all of the documentaries about nature. And guess who has a huge hand in that game? Our very own Public Broadcasting Service. There’s “Nature,” “NOVA,” “Life on the Reef” and even “Operation Maneater” (a mini series dedicated to the conflict between large deadly predators and humans). You could be stuck watching political analysts talk about the 2016 Election on NBC, OR you can watch a honey badger wreck the living daylights out of its favorite food, the rattlesnake. But that’s not all PBS has to offer. It is also a history nerd’s paradise, a classy offering for the classic and jazz music connoisseur and even an auctioneer’s dream. You can’t beat the variety or the novel entertainment of the U.S.’s only publicly funded TV channel.
—Peter Dissinger , Forum Editor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ocq8OR4OydQ

Discovery Channel:

My dad has a weird obsession with all things Alaskan, thanks to the show “Alaskan Bush People.” Indeed, his life goal is to actually move to Alaska. Granted, the closest he’s gotten to achieving this dream is successfully watching 10 hours of this show, which stars the Brown Family, in one sitting. While they chop down trees, he eats ice cream; while they freeze, he sweats. Sometimes I’m tempted to change the channel, mainly because Snowbird Brown really pisses me off, but still, watching Billy Brown and his kids thrive in isolation while I happily, and comfortably, eat a grilled cheese in Bear’s Den seems like an ideal way to waste my time. Let’s also not forget about the American classic “Naked and Afraid,” a show that’s as interesting as it is uncomfortable to watch. Basically, Discovery Channel exists to remind us that we really take our Tempur-Pedic mattresses for granted.
—Lizzi Kehoe, Staff Writer

The Puppy Channel:

OK, so this channel might not exist anymore, but let’s consider this my petition to get it back up and running. The Puppy Channel was a very real, very wonderful TV channel that showed nothing but live puppy footage 24/7. Playing puppies. Sleeping puppies. Cuddling puppies. Basically every college kid’s dream, and also the reason we have a Facebook group dedicated entirely to dogs spotted on campus (hey Dogspotting @ WashU, you’re welcome for the plug). I don’t know about you, but when the stress of impending case comp (or the much bigger stress of not finding a free Bauer Hall table) gets to be too much, all I really want is a pup in my life.
—Rachel Katzin, Staff Writer

NHL Network:

Y’all might think I’m joking, but this channel’s actually great. Do you ever want to watch Canadian radio shows about hockey on TV in the middle of the day? Well, you’re in luck, because this channel has got you covered (you can also watch “Hockey Night in Canada” on Saturday nights during the NHL season). Plus, NHL Network shows replays of hockey games from like five years ago, on occasion. And there’s the nightly “NHL Tonight” where the analysts go over trade rumors. So what if former host Kathryn Tappen is on NBCSN now? They’ve still got highlights from the biggest games around the league. Sounds like a winning show in my book.
—Ella Chochrek, Staff Writer

TruTV:

I propose that the TVs remain on TruTV due to its high-quality programming. This gold-standard network could provide us with endless hours of classics such as “Comedy Knockout,” “Barmaggedon” and “Hardcore Pawn.” The best show on TruTV, however, is “The Carbonaro Effect.” Starring magician Michael Carbonaro, this program follows him as he pulls elaborate pranks on unsuspecting people. He always ends by attempting to explain the prank to the victim (to be on this show certainly makes you a victim) through the mysterious Carbonaro Effect. He’ll ask if they’ve heard of it, and—spoiler alert—no one has. I would love to catch a glimpse of “The Carbonaro Effect” every day, and watch Carbonaro’s greatest trick of all: making what little fame he has disappear. —Ethan Kerns, Staff Writer

MTV:

MTV gets a bad rap. Overall, it’s a horrible channel, I’ll grant you that. But everyone either has a show they love, or a show they love to hate. I could watch Xzibit clown everyone on “Pimp My Ride” for day-long marathons. I don’t care who you are—at some point you watched, and secretly enjoyed, “Jersey Shore.” Since I have been in college, I have seen at least five kids make references to “MTV Cribs” when referring to their dorm room—they had to get that knowledge from somewhere. If you ever want to feel as uncomfortable as humanly possible, watch “Parental Control.” When parents don’t like their daughter’s boyfriend, they set her up with several alternatives. If you’re thinking right now that you don’t want to watch this, you’re wrong.
—Desi Isaacson, Staff Writer

HGTV:

I love tiny things. According to science, this is probably because unusually small objects trigger the part of our brain that is conditioned to respond to cute babies and fluffy animals. According to me, it is because tiny things are stupidly impractical and humans look really funny trying to interact with them. This is the basis of my love for “Tiny House Hunters,” a show that airs exclusively on Home and Garden Television and which features normal-sized people trying to fit their entire lives into a house roughly the size of a dumpster. My favorite part of every episode is when the hunters walk into a house and inevitably exclaim, “Wow, this is really tiny!” Sometimes, they will try to fit themselves into a tiny tub or attempt to fit their clothes into a combination closet/breadbox. Yes, the houses are small, but the entertainment value is anything but. —Maddie Wilson, Managing Editor

Lifetime TV:

Sometimes I find myself bored out of my mind and kicked out of my friend’s Netflix. In times like these, I need to take my mind off Teresa Mendoza’s drug empire and watch something a little more wholesome—you know, something with a good, deep message. In these moments, I find myself turning to Lifetime TV to watch classics such as “Expecting Amish”—a made-for-Lifetime movie starring AJ Michalka, Jesse McCartney and that one girl from the Missy Elliot video, that centers around an Amish girl who gets pregnant in Los Angeles during Rumspringa. You can’t get that golden combo of originality and nostalgia anywhere else but Lifetime.
—Sarah Hands, Senior Forum Editor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0ln42L3D5U