Obama Victory Playlist

Results are in, and incumbent Barack Obama has won another four-year term as president. Celebrate his victory with this playlist, straight from Chicago.

1. “Irreplaceable”
Beyoncé
Beyoncé is one of the President’s number one fans. Even though this is normally a breakup jam, Obama can turn it into his declaration to the American people: he is “Irreplaceable.” Maybe his policies will even move to the left, to the left in his second term. –Georgie Morvis
2. “Marchin’ On”
One Republic
“There’s so many wars we fought /” (Out of Iraq, anyone?) “There’s so many things we’re not /” (Republicans) “But with what we have /” (a marvelous president), “I promise you that /“ (I am sure Obama has said these words at some point) “We’re marching on.” (Exactly) Spoken like a true American, Ryan Tedder. And we will continue marching with Obama at the helm. –Elena Wandzilak
3. “Without Me”
Eminem
Guess who’s back, back again? This election cycle hardly needs more controversy, but we can still totally picture Obama jamming to this Eminem classic in the Oval Office today (perhaps with a dramatic mic drop at the end a la “Slow Jam the News” with Jimmy Fallon). After all, Barry’s back—tell a friend. –Katharine Jaruzelski
4. “Mr. November”
The National
The National may not have very political music—even this song isn’t really in that category—but it has been loud in its endorsements of certain policies and people, including Obama. He used this song four years ago, and while going two-for-two in elections is obviously not unheard of (George W. Bush did it, for crying out loud), it’s definitely enough to make him “Mr. November.” –Trevor Leuzinger
5. “One More Time”
Daft Punk
Daft Punk may be a French group, but this catchy tune is perfect for the President to dance to as he celebrates being elected another time. His “One More Time” might be another four years, but maybe this time he’ll get more done. Gitmo’s still open, y’all. –Georgie Morvis

Romney Victory Playlist

Student Life also found a crumpled-up piece of paper at
Romney’s campaign headquarters. Here is what Romney would have played at his victory rally.

1. “I Am Not a Robot”
Marina and the Diamonds
Congrats on the victory. Despite attempts on all fronts to try and turn you into an emotionless alien-robot who has no basic knowledge of human interaction and humor, you are now the president of the greatest country on Earth. This can be your new mantra. Shout “I am not a robot” with pride, Mittens.
–Georgie Morvis
2. “Hello”
from “Book of Mormon”
Say hello to our first Mormon president, everybody! Sure, his religion hasn’t been an issue during the election (which is a good thing), but it’s still a first for the country. What better way to honor the new president than with the first song from the Broadway musical about his religion. So, put this at the top of your Romney playlist and say hello. –Trevor Leuzinger
3. “Time Warp”
from “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”
Some of Romney’s opponents have said that electing him would take the U.S. back in time. Well, sounds like a “Time Warp!” The classic from “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” is lots of fun to sing along with but still has that seedy underbelly liberals will love when playing this playlist. As a bonus, Meat Loaf, who plays Eddie in the movie, endorsed Romney at an event in Ohio during the campaign. –Trevor Leuzinger
4. “Party at a Rich Dude’s House”
Ke$ha
Regardless of your political beliefs, there’s no denying that Mitt Romney is quite the rich dude, and after winning the presidential election, you better believe that he is going to throw one hell of a party. So with a little inspiration from everyone’s favorite sleazy celebrity, we’re pretty confident that “Party At A Rich Dude’s House” will be on the playlist. So put on your best conservative-meets-hot-mess outfit and head to his house in Massachusetts…or New Hampshire…or San Diego for one crazy party with the new President-elect. –Caroline Gutbezahl
5. “Champion”
Kanye West
After a hard-fought campaign, one person has emerged as champion: Willard Mitt Romney. This song is an upbeat rap song bragging about victory that doesn’t sound too arrogant. Plus, it’s really fun to imagine Romney listening to rap. How do you think he pronounces Kanye West? Probably incorrectly.
–Georgie Morvis