Sometimes Washington University life gets you down, like when you have 17 midterms in a week and don’t see a single puppy for four whole days. Perhaps this fun story about our University’s Provost Bolden Porth will restore your faith in the Washington University system. They really do care!

Porth, who is known for telling students to call him “Bolden,” met with the hardworking kiddos of STL Students in Solidarity this week to chat about how the prison industrial complex is interwoven into our University’s funding system and how coal is destroying the lives of millions of people. They said it is a really bad problem, and Porth actually agrees, sort of!

Charleston Chewingston | Student Life

“You know we do take pride in our connections to the community, and our board members provide evidence of that. These people have been plugged into Wash. U. and into St. Louis for such a long time. We love St. Louis.” Porth said.

When the students pushed for another answer, Porth continued to say amazing things, this time holding several cute children and puppies in his arms.

“Prisons are a way to keep our communities safe. You know it is just so great that our board member is helping to keep prisoners happy and healthy with excellent food options!” Porth added.

Wow, wasn’t that incredible? Porth really is something!

Students in Solidarity definitely agree with us.

“He said pretty much nothing new. We want real answers, like whether Wash. U. will take Smandrew Waylor off the board of trustees! We don’t want prison money in our educational system!” protestor and junior Marky Sanders said.

Senior Vicky Smith, whose family’s pet canary died in the coal mines last year, wanted to focus on Sneabody.

“Sneabody is polluting like crazy and is terrible for the environment. We camped out for like three weeks a couple of years ago to ask them to get rid of their support. Why has nothing happened?” Smith asked.

“Washington University is a super great place in a super great city!” Porth said in response.

If you loved this heartwarming story, be sure to check out the rest of our incredible content, like these 24 pictures of cats that will make you laugh or 47 GIFs of moms who are really strong!