Jaime Hebel | Head of Illustration

Dear Scene, 

I’m so excited to have a break from classes, but I’m kind of dreading going home for such a long time. I’ve grown apart from most of my high school friends, and I don’t feel as connected to my hometown. During the break, I’m going to miss all of my WashU friends. How do I get through this when I feel like a stranger in my own town?

— Hysteric Homecomer 

Dear Hysteric Homecomer, 

During the semester, you may have felt like you oscillated between bouts of homesickness and feelings of belonging — a common occurrence among college students, especially first-years. Dealing with this constant up-and-down is difficult, and only further complicated by the upcoming break.  

Your mixed feelings about Winter Break are very normal; it is a weird time for college students. How do you stuff your newfound college freedom back into your childhood bedroom at your parents’ house? 

On top of that, there’s the friend aspect. Maintaining strong friendships with high school friends as you all go your separate ways is hard. Whether or not you have kept in touch, it can feel as though you’ve all grown too far apart. Luckily, there are some things you can do to soften the constant transitions between home and school, to reconnect with your hometown and make sure you don’t feel lonely over break.

First of all, it is important to acknowledge that growing apart from your hometown and past friends is a natural part of any transition period in your life. I find it helpful to reframe your thinking: You may not feel as comfortable at home and with your high school friends, and that’s because you’ve made a new home for yourself at school. You have put in a lot of effort to thrive in college, and it’s okay if that has caused you to grow distant from your hometown.  

Being intentional with your break time can make the break feel less transitional and more restful. Spend your time doing things that make you feel comfortable and at home, whether that’s visiting your favorite places, spending time with your parents and family, or even just relaxing. Sometimes, trying something new in your hometown can help provide some excitement, as well.  

Secondly, don’t be intimidated by the loss of proximity between you and your high school friends. Many college students dedicate their breaks to spending time with high school friends. It may seem scary to reach out after you’ve lost contact, but rekindling a friendship can be very rewarding. If you feel that it would be worthwhile to reach out, don’t be intimidated to make the first move! Ask to get coffee, plan a debriefing session, or organize a visit to your old high school. One of my favorite things to do is to get brunch with old high school friends and discuss everything that happened with them in the last semester. If reaching out doesn’t work, that’s okay, too — and it’s not your fault! It can be upsetting, but unfortunately, some friendships just fade away over time.    

Whether plans with your friends materialize or not, Winter Break doesn’t have to be lonely. Keeping in touch with all of your college friends is just as important as spending time with high school friends and recharging for the upcoming semester. I often find myself missing my college friends, so I text them a lot, do some FaceTimes, and brainstorm plans for after break.  

The transition from home to school and back again is not easy, but navigating it is easier when you remember that all of your high school friends and college friends are feeling the same thing. And before you know it, spring semester will arrive. But for now, stay strong during finals week, and then get some serious relaxation in. Safe travels and happy holidays! 

Your hometown hero, 

Scene