You may think you’re going to be living with your soon-to-be bestie, but how much do you really know about the person you’re planning to room with next year? Unless you’ve gone for a trial run and monitored his/her sleep patterns, chances are high you’ll discover just how much you don’t know about the guy or girl with whom you’ll be sharing a common room—or a bedroom, if you’re planning on a double. Just to prepare you for the worst, here are five of the worst kinds of roommates you can fear landing—and yes, all based on (allegedly) true stories. —Scene Staff

Becca Christman | Student Life

The Dubious Distiller

What could go wrong living with some chem wizzes who can help you with your problem sets? You may think you’ve hit the jackpot with low-cost alcohol until you can’t use your sink because the faucet’s being diverted for a cold water bath in your in-suite distillery. But at least it’s better than the previous solution—an ice bath that ended up flooding your bathroom (much to a maintenance staffer’s chagrin). There’s also the minor concern mentioned two shots later of whether they managed to get rid of the methanol—but don’t worry, the only real risk is going blind.

The Bottomless Bedder

Imagine settling into bed your first night at school next year with that brand-new roommate getting comfortable across the room. The stillness of a Wash. U. night is broken by a loud, obnoxious zipping noise. You open your eyes a crack, only to find your roommate’s pants on the floor. OK, not so bad, right? You look at the floor again. His underwear is sitting inside the pants. But then, he did have the modesty to keep his T-shirt on, so that’s good…right? You better hope that thin bedsheet stays on all night.

The Solomon Splitter

You may think your friend is just an egalitarian until you come back one night to find a line of tape cutting your room in half. What happened to your pillow pet lying on the floor, straddling the line? Decapitation. Had your recyclables on your roommate’s side? Trashed.

The Frequent Fornicator

You’re no prude, and you don’t have any issues with a sock on the door every now and then. But try as you might, this is the roommate you just can’t get away from. What’s that weird noise coming from the shower as you’re brushing your teeth? That moaning noise when you’re attempting to study in the B-stacks? You know it’s reached a dangerous point when you start knocking before entering your own common room for fear you’ll see your roommate and her hookup buddy enjoying each other’s company on your couch. While the stamina may be impressive, there’s something to be said for, you know, abstinence.

The Stone-Cold Stoner

It’s 32 degrees outside but your window’s open, your floor’s littered with discarded bags of Cheetos and the smell of Febreze is constantly in the air. Your towels are rolled up by the door, your smoke detectors are blocked and what are those mysterious baggies your roommate is keeping in his desk? Good luck convincing ResLife you need to move because of *cough* *cough* allergies.