Scene
Bathroom reviews
When Kanye West calls for us to “watch the throne” in his recently released collaboration with Jay-Z, he is referring to the sacred chair commonly known as the toilet. Well, perhaps not exactly, but Kanye does write much of his material while in the privacy of his bathroom, sitting on the john. As aspiring students who rarely find a time to find peace from our chaotic lives, the bathroom should serve as an inspirational refuge, just as it does for Kanye. Perhaps more basically, a refined toilet can serve as a pleasant retreat if the effects of W.I.L.D. linger past the weekend. While wubathrooms.com serves as a primer, below is an updated list of some of the toilets unsoiled by what occurs within their stalls. Watch out for these thrones.
Women’s Building downstairs, women and men
If you are looking for the quintessential college bathroom, look no further than the downstairs bathrooms in the Women’s Building. Lockers, showers, and gender specific tile colors feel like a journey back in time.
The Women’s Building redefines what constitutes the classic school bathroom. Replete with an infant nursery room, toilets, sinks, locker room, vanity area and showers, this bathroom is more utilitarian than anything else. Although the artificial pink tiling (or blue in the men’s room, a stereotypical gender binary unfitting for bathrooms in the gender studies department) and small stalls are nothing to call home about, the sheer volume of space to clean, primp and preen make it a desirable spot.
Business School bathroom first floor, women
It’s as if Xzibit of “Pimp My Ride” designed this bathroom in Olin. “Yo, dawg, we heard you like bathrooms, so we put a bathroom in yo’ bathroom.” The most striking part of this spacious, brightly lit room is not its eight sinks paired with individual mirrors or its sleek railing of hooks for winter coats and suit jackets. Rather, the best feature is the enclosed handicapped stall at the end of the row, complete with toilet, sink, mirror and automatic towel dispenser. As always, Olin proves a refreshing space for taking care of business.
Givens, women
Though quite a trek for those who are not in the architecture school, Givens is attractive because it is alternative. One elongated window allows natural light to fill the space, creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere. A random semi-circular windowpane rests against one side of the room while an ornately framed mirror sits propped against the entire lower half of the back wall. It may not be the cleanest of all facilities—the sink is currently stained with green paint—but one could say it is the hipster of the bathroom world. If only it were underground.
DUC bathroom second floor, women and men
For a haven from the hectic lunchtime rush at the DUC, avoid the downstairs and sneak up to the second floor bathroom tucked away near the west staircase. Dimly lit with only three stalls, the soft blue coloring paired with low lighting makes for the perfect place to collect your thoughts as you release your lots.
Mallinckrodt downstairs, women and men
Mallinckrodt serves as a thoroughfare for many students, so it only makes sense that it has hygienic facilities with average sized stalls and artificial yet complementary lighting. If traveling in groups, Mallinckrodt is highly recommended, furnished with a wooden bench and full-length mirror that create a waiting room-like appeal to accommodate the friends of the true bathroom user.
Lopata Gallery, women and men
Opened for the first time in Spring 2011, the Lopata Gallery’s toilets are nothing short of immaculate. Covered with beige tile, the bathroom’s decorative simplicity makes for a tranquil environment. Offset from the sinks, a small, convenient ledge protrudes from underneath a well-sized mirror perfect for grooming. Automatic toilets, sinks, and soap and towel dispensers fill the room so that minimal effort elicits maximum results.
Cupples 1 first floor, men
It is rare that a men’s restroom exceeds a women’s in cleanliness, ambiance and comfort. However, the men’s bathroom in Cupples I is by far the most commodious men’s room on campus. Rouge tiles, alluding to the Missouri granite that surrounds campus, envelop the room as touches of green, blue and gold tile accent the stalls’ back walls. Manila dividers separate three urinals, and a large horizontal mirror hangs on the left-hand wall. Boys, the next time you feel the urge to purge, treat yourself to this oasis.
Eliot Hall
It’s in Eliot. ‘Nuff said.

