What is the future? In my dreams I see faceless people in dark robes, which I have interpreted to symbolize that I will soon be invited to work at Gringotts Wizarding Bank. The future has nothing to do with tomorrow because that would make too much sense.

Do you remember hearing, “If you’d pay Bristol $20,000, then why not pay me, someone that didn’t screw up and have an unplanned baby at 17, $30,000 to speak about sexual responsibility?” and “She was actually pretty good on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ and I’d go see her even though Brandy should have won?” My own mixed feelings were voiced by other students.

The opening of the Academy Awards was decently charming but also set the stage for the uninspiring performance that was to come. James Franco adorably stepped off the “Inception”-themed elevator in a white leotard while Anne Hathaway annoyingly tripped over her feet in a duck costume while trying to parody “Black Swan.

I have heard this story about 1,000 times: WUPD stops black student at Washington University. Every time I chat with friends about this issue, I cannot help but laugh because I feel that it is obvious as to who is a student here and who is not.

n high school, I was on the Constitution team and my boyfriend looked like the dude with long hair from “Dazed and Confused.” When I got to Washington University, I was in heaven. There were smart, attractive guys everywhere and I was finally ready to spread my wings, become a woman and stop wearing my retainer during the day.

Recently, a few young Wash. U. gentlemen have decided to share with me that my personality is flawed (I might have been asking for it, but this is my article, and I don’t need to tell all sides of the story.). Initially, I was incredibly offended and wanted to change all twenty flaws that one particular fellow dropped on me in the DUC. I soon realized these men only know a small morsel of the person that I am because they have not yet earned the privilege to get to know me on a deeper level.

My senior year of high school, I spotted a guy in the cafeteria with the longest hair that I had ever seen on a male to date. Even more shocking was that there were no split ends to be found.

Now that we’re seniors, there’s this all-important term called the Bucket List. This mystical list is basically a compilation of things one needs to do before he or she graduates. When first asked what graced the top of my list, I knew what I wanted to do immediately.

So recently when I’ve gone to my fave spot, Whispers, I’ve been drinking in the fall air, loving that I can wear my boots and finally see beautiful scarves properly used for their functionality and warmth instead of their usual sordid summer job as a hickey-hider. The fall season also means that I like to take naps outside.

Basically, if you want to see what someone is really like, you should head over to Whispers. I always wonder why people haven’t learned to stop spilling their business in public.