Marceline Lee | Illustration Editor

Dear Scene,

I’m going to be in a single suite and I’m really worried about getting lonely. Everyone I met during Bear Day seems to be in doubles with roommates they already love. Am I stuck being alone for the rest of the year since I won’t have a built-in friend to spend time and go do stuff with? I know people make friends outside of their dorm, but how do I do that? I’m actually clueless!

— Socially-Distanced Student

Dear Socially-Distanced Student,

From a former first-year who lived in a modern single, I had the same thoughts going through my head as I noticed how many of those around me were besties with their roomie(s). Although choosing suitemates instead of roommates does not mean you will never have a chance at being friends with them, it can at times feel impossible to connect with anyone when friend groups are often made up of people from the same residential community (mainly out of sheer convenience). But fear not: This column will give you some easy, proactive ways to start making friends all over campus fast!

Before I get into all the tips and tricks of how to spread your wings as a social butterfly, it’s important to remember that a lot of success at making and maintaining meaningful friendships relies on personal effort. Of course, any interpersonal relationship is a two-way street, but the more you actively put yourself out there and keep striking up conversations with people, the higher the probability of meeting that one person you need to make life better. In other words, never stop trying! Why limit your social options by being scared?

While that may seem easier said than done, as it did for me in my first year at WashU, the more you “hype up” the act of making friends in your head, the less likely you are to actually go out and do something about it! Trust me, once you take that first step in socializing, even if it’s as small as saying “hi” to someone you know from a class in passing, the next steps will feel less and less daunting over time.

One of the most obvious but effective ways to start meeting new people is by going outside! Yes, just leaving the comfortable solitary confinement of your room once a day after you are done with classes is a great opportunity to run into familiar faces or introduce yourself to completely new ones. A super easy approach is attending events offered by Ursa’s Nite Life and Campus Life! I guarantee you will be able to find an activity going on any day of the week by following them on social media or paying attention to their flyers posted around campus.

My personal recommendation on how to get out of your dorm is Zumba, especially if you like to dance. I cannot emphasize how beneficial the BearFIT classes offered at Sumers Recreation Center, Zumba specifically, were for my physical and mental health during my first year. Admittedly, it was due in no small part to an amazing instructor, King Ausar, who teaches on Fridays and Sundays every week (even in summer!). Those who have met him will tell you he is such a wise, kind, and motivational speaker. I mean that literally, too. After each session, he gives a speech ripe with words of affirmation and often pairs everyone up to get people who would otherwise be strangers talking to each other. If you want to make friends and stay active in the process, I cannot think of a better solution.

Another super simple way to meet several people at once is by going to Bear’s Den on the South 40 during dinner rush. Friend groups will form long stretches of tables to sit together, and even if you have only met one person in said group, the dining hall is a relaxed, casual setting where anyone can become close. Especially during finals, co-studying in and out of Bear’s Den is yet again a natural excuse to reach out to people with whom you want to be friends. On that note, don’t forget to always ask for someone’s phone number, Instagram, or Snapchat if you want to keep in touch!

Lastly, it’s no surprise that joining different student organizations and clubs can naturally lead to making friends. Be on the lookout for booths that fit your passions at the activities fair held every semester, as well as general board meetings where you can get to know the current and future club members without the pressure of fully committing yourself to multiple groups. I found that choosing a few clubs you really enjoy over several that you don’t have enough time or dedication for is often the more sustainable route when it comes to forming lasting friendships and feeling like part of a community on campus. 

As a whole, treat your first year of college as a test run. These early stages of your WashU career are opportunities to develop your social skills, resulting in some fulfilling friendships along the way. Not everything will be set in stone by the end of spring semester anyway, so try not to worry yourself with how many friends you do or don’t have and just make the most out of every conversation. Good luck!

Your social cheerleaders,

Scene