Out of pure frustration, he looked to create a club in which he could find the meaningful social atmosphere he yearned for throughout his freshman year. He knew it didn’t make sense—one person trying to create a social club just didn’t add up. But junior Justin Wexler went against the odds in founding the Social Attitude Club, a club whose current success will leave skeptics speechless.

“It’s grown like a snowball to the point where we now have a community. We’re hanging out every day. This is our friendship circle now,” Wexler said.

During his freshman year, Wexler found himself dissatisfied with his social life and the campus culture surrounding him. Tired of the “superficial” conversations he found at parties, Wexler began brainstorming ways to helps students like himself to socialize in a more meaningful way.

“No one cared about actually forming friendships or relationships, so I was pretty sick about the culture around me. Conversation would be very superficial. It never got deeper, so I never really got to know anybody,” Wexler said. “I wanted to create something that students who were unsatisfied like myself could join to learn how to form more meaningful relationships and how to have deeper conversations.”

This past spring semester, Wexler launched the club and recruited his first member, sophomore Christopher Murillo. Murillo admits that when he attended the first meeting, he worried that Wexler would look down on him and tell him he could not be helped—that he was “doomed.” To Murillo’s surprise, instead of judgment, he received helpful tips and advice.

“For me, Social Attitude Club has served as an outlet for me to practice social skills without fear of being judged or criticized by others,” said Murillo, who currently serves as the club’s secretary.

Freshman and new Social Attitude Club member Vincent Chan added, “Social Attitude Club not only provides an outlet for me to socialize, but it also provides me a community.”

This is exactly Wexler’s goal. Early in the process, he changed the club’s name from Public Speaking Club to Social Attitude Club because he realized the relationship between speaking skills, socialization and community.

“I realized that just speaking clearly is only one-half of the equation—if you can speak clearly but you don’t know what to say in the conversation, ultimately, you’re not going to have fulfilling relationships,” Wexler said. “In our club, we talk about how to have more fulfilling conversations, really getting to what forms a relationship—sharing your thoughts, feelings and experiences.”

This two-part equation translates into the style of the club’s general body meetings, which are held every Friday at 5 p.m. in the Wheeler House lobby. For the first part of the meeting, the group focuses on improving speaking skills through focusing on articulation, clarity and confidence. The rest of the meeting looks at the content of conversations, such as how to have interesting, meaningful and stimulating conversations.

“Relationships are built on sharing who you are—conveying how you see the world, sharing what life’s like through your eyes. Instead of being closed off and just giving one-word answers when people ask you questions, really bring them into your experiences by sharing your thoughts and feelings. That’s the glue that binds relationships together,” said Wexler.

Chan, who felt helpless after constantly being told that his English had a Chinese accent and his Chinese had an English accent, saw quick improvement in his speaking skills but has also thrived off socialization skills he developed. He particularly enjoys when his socialization lessons are put to the test when the group goes out to dinner together after meetings. Chan says at his first club dinner, he thought he would be able to “slice the awkwardness in the air.” Instead, he found that the group connected because of the members’ similar social experiences.

“They’ve become good buddies of mine; we go to movies, we go out to dinner and it serves as not only a study break but also as a relief from being stuck alone in my room,” Chan said.

Freshman member David Ayeke appreciates the practicality of the speaking and social advice he’s been able to apply to his life. Moving to the U.S. from Nigeria at a young age, Ayeke was raised in house in which his parents spoke a “broken English” he soon developed as well. He would try to speak quickly so that listeners wouldn’t detect his accent, but he eventually avoided interaction altogether.

“You can read a lot of books and look on WikiHow about how to have good conversations,” Ayeke said. “Every time you read them, they’re like, ‘Just be you! Be confident! You can do it!’ But nobody could tell us what that means.”

After what he felt was a discouraging performance at the Career Fair, Ayeke headed to only his second Social Attitude Club meeting, a meeting that would change his perspective.

“I came still in my suit and I was feeling bad, like I didn’t have good conversations with the interviewers. Justin [Wexler] said, ‘How was the Career Fair?’ And I said ‘All right.’ But Justin said, ‘No you can’t just say it’s all right; you have to explain how you feel.’ It was a revelation for me,” Ayeke said. “I suddenly realized my entire life when people ask me what’s up, I’ve been telling them, ‘It’s good.’”

Through applying the lessons he’s learning in the club, just a week after his revelation, Ayeke snagged a federal work-study job.

Murillo relates to his fellow members like Ayeke because he likewise moved from giving the subpar “good” response to engaging in deep conversations.

“I’m able to relate to other people in the sense that we all started being hesitant to talk to other people. We were quiet, shy and nervous,” Ayeke said. “But now that I know there are other people like me, I’m more inclined to better myself and help other people who have been in my place.”

Wexler encourages anyone who wants to find a satisfying social environment through improving their conversational skills to join the club or e-mail him at [email protected].

“Every time a new member comes in, initially they’re very shy, and they don’t know what this club’s about, but everyone’s benefitting whether it’s being able to answer a question in class with confidence, a successful job interview—whether it’s being able to have an enjoyable romantic date or just making friends on campus,” said Wexler. “If I can keep helping students have more fulfilling social lives, then I’ll know I’m a valuable part of this community.”