The 11 types of students in class - Student Life

The 11 types of students in class

As “Mean Girls” taught us, the classroom is much like the animal kingdom: each person belongs to a distinct social group with its own behaviors and super legitimate, scientific-sounding name. Here are the types of students that you may have seen in the classroom around you the past couple months.

1. The Overachiever (Achievus maximus)

You–and everyone else in the class–will notice their frequent participation and general over-preparedness. The Overachiever often points out the professor’s mistakes or hands in assignments weeks early.

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2. The Napper (Nappus shorticus)

Wakes up after lecture saying, “What did I miss?”

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3. The Slacker (Skippus freqentus)

The slacker straight up isn’t at class unless it’s a small discussion group, in which case you’ll see them in the corner.

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4. The Guy Who Thinks He’s Funny But Isn’t (Comedia failos)

Whenever this kid raises his hand, you know the classroom is about to go silent. Questions often make people very uncomfortable in an “I don’t really know how to answer or respond to this” way.

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5. Hopalong Cassidy (Broken footica)

Most often a student with a hurt foot, Hopalong Cassidy usually sits in the back of the classroom and requires help getting around.

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6. The Frat Boy (Broseph particus)

You may notice the mad flow of the hair or the fraternity shirts. The Broseph particus tends to travel in packs.

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7. The Girl Who Walks in Late with A Pumpkin Spice Latte (Female basicus)

Dresses very ambiguously for the weather. Is it summer? Is it winter? I can’t tell by your shorts, boots, tank top and coat.

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8. The Hypothetical Question Person (Keanu reevus)

“What if Mars actually does have people living on it? How would that affect Earth’s gravity?”

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9. The Guy Who Is Surprisingly With It (False callicus)

You may have pegged them for a stoner all semester, but they’ve actually been paying attention and are one of the smartest people there. The Guy Who Is Surprisingly With It sparks the best debates in discussion classes and is a great person to talk with after class.

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10. The Complete Mess (Klutz constantus)

They drop their notebook and pencil on the floor five times. They’re consistently late to class. Tagline: “Wait – that’s due today?!?”

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11. The Trying to Be Inconspicuous Pre-Frosh (High schoolers don’t get a genus and species because they are in a different animal kingdom)

Lurking in the back corner of the lecture hall, the visiting high schoolers stand out, despite their attempts to blend into the college lifestyle. Typical give-away signs are overenthusiastic parents or business casual wear.

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Did I miss any groups? Comment below!

Editor’s note: An earlier version of this article referred to the Hopalong Cassidy character as “the cripple.” Student Life apologizes for the insensitive use of this charged term.

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