The journalistic world has been in a frenzy this week. All around the globe, the media have been falling over themselves trying to get the most out of the diplomatic dispatches released by WikiLeaks. More tellingly, however, the battle rages on between those who believe that Julian Assange, co-founder and WikiLeaks official spokesman, is a knight in white armor fighting for truth, justice and democracy, and those who believe he is a Hitler-like traitor who should be hung, drawn and quartered, the pieces crushed in a mortar and pestle, the dust left to be scattered by the winds. Ultimately when the thing being most discussed is the fate of the person who released the cables rather than the cables themselves, something is amiss.

As the media slowly sift through the dispatches, the supposedly earth-shattering revolution that Assange wants to bring about is turning out to be very disappointing indeed. So American diplomats think that Merkel lacks panache and that Sarkozy is small and authoritative? That Berlusconi is shifty? Captain Obvious to the rescue!

Does the “news” that Gaddafi cannot leave without his Ukrainian nurse, a “voluptuous blonde,” belong in the NY Times or the gossip papers? Not only is the information that we have read so far underwhelming, but it is also mainly directed at the personalities of the foreign leaders, not their actions. Most of the more strategic information has been equally disappointing. So the Sunni leaders want America to attack Shia Iran before it gets the nuclear bomb and becomes the dominant force in the area? Russia is corrupt and authoritative? America is scared that Pakistan (ranked 10th on the Failed States Index) cannot keep control of its nuclear arsenal? How much of this is new? The interesting information has been that the U.S. has spied on top UN officials and that China wants a united Korea—pretty slim pickings for a week’s worth of uproar.

Despite all the posturing by Assange, WikiLeaks has not brought transparency forward one iota. Either the juicier information is still being unpacked, or this is really all there is to the cables and there was no use making such a song and dance about them. The only thing we can gather from the cables is that American diplomats are bored stiff and that they gossip as much as the rest of us.

WikiLeaks’s cause to finally bring an age of greater transparency and accountability is noble. If they could tell us that Palin was secretly an FSB agent or that Obama pocketed money from Iran in exchange for a more peaceful approach, then the leaks would have some impact. But if all we learn in the next week is of Chavez’s fondness for telenovelas or that there is tension between Taiwan and China, then Assange and co. will have to find another diplomatic office whose actions are of actual concern, rather than the ramblings of the drunk man sitting in the corner of the bar.