Anna Dorsey | Illustration Editor

The idea of “being comfortable” has been a crutch in our society for generations. We choose convenience over discomfort, especially when it comes to the way we feel.

While visiting my aunt and uncle in England, I got to know some of the neighborhood locals, family friends, local churchgoers, and most notably, their next-door neighbor, Charles. Charles was an older gentleman, in his mid-70s, soft-spoken, with the kind of stillness that made you want to listen. I’d ask him questions, and he’d tell me stories. But there’s one story in particular that stuck with me.

He admitted to being a bit of a player back in his day, always wrapped up in one situation or another. At the same time, he was close with a boy named Liam and his younger sister, Laurel. The three of them had known each other for as long as he could remember. At the time, Laurel was dating one of his friends, and Charles was off entertaining other women. But then he paused and said, almost to himself, “I always loved that girl.”

Charles told me Laurel was the only woman he ever truly loved, but he never told her. 

“Talking about it made me feel really uncomfortable,” he said. After school, life took them in different directions. Charles never married. And even now, decades later, he told me that choice, the decision to stay quiet, haunts him every day.

Charles’ story made me think about how nothing has changed — many love stories never happened because people were “too scared.” If anything, things have only gotten worse. 

In the days of old, people had no choice but to approach others. Now, with the rise of dating apps, especially ones crafted for college or WashU students like Datamatch, Marriage Pact, and, most recently, WUCupid, uncomfortable conversations have been replaced with algorithmically curated connections. Gone are the days of walking up to someone and just saying how you feel; now, we’d rather pour our hearts into a DM to WashU’s anonymous gossip Instagram about our “missed connections.”

I’ve heard all the arguments in favor of online dating: “The apps already have that romantic undertone, so it takes away a lot of the awkwardness,” or “They help me filter out the people I don’t want and only show me real potential.” And sure, that sounds efficient. But to me, it just feels like an extension of both laziness and fear.

Lazy, because we’d rather let an algorithm decide who’s right for us than find out for ourselves. Fearful, because we’d rather defer to a screen than risk a real human moment. One that might be messy. One that might be awkward. One that, honestly, might change everything.

To get what you want out of life, you have to put yourself in the kinds of situations that make it possible. Right now, too many of us are letting fear dictate the things we think we do and don’t deserve. We tell ourselves stories like, “They’re out of my league,” or “Now’s not the right time,” or “What if it’s awkward?” And before we know it, we’ve talked ourselves out of something that could’ve made all the difference. 

Everyone deserves their own meet-cute. Everyone deserves to meet the love of their life at a bookstore, at the coffee shop, or on a random night out. But that kind of story only happens when you’re willing to step into it. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy: If you never take the chance, it never becomes real.

Charles’ story lives in my head because it reminds me of what’s at stake. One conversation, one moment of honesty, could have rewritten the rest of his life. But fear won that day. And many of us are at the edge of the same decision.

So this is my only plea: Take your shot. Say something. Smile first. Join a new club. Pick up a new hobby. Start the awkward conversation. College is one of the only spaces we will ever experience that is designed to encourage conversation and foster genuine connection. Everyone is new, eager, and full of potential. So if not here, then where? If not now, then when? Because the truth is, love isn’t hidden in your comfort zone. It’s out there somewhere, waiting for you to have the confidence to reach out and grab it.