With the debate results out, Washington University has finally broken the silence on how students who got tickets will actually experience the 2016 presidential debate. While student attendees (or, at this point, possibly maybe attendees) have been warned to eat a substantial meal before coming to Whitaker Hall at 3 p.m. Sunday, the debate has smartly decided to offer students “heavy appetizers” at the Athletic Complex so that their stomach growling doesn’t interrupt Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump’s time on stage.

With that in mind, here is Forum’s list of the best “heavy appetizers” for a pre-debate cocktail party.

Hot wings:

Alright, I know this sounds crazy, but any debate cocktail party better come fully equipped with the candidates’ favorite foods. This past summer, Clinton revealed that she is a huge fan of spicy peppers and tries to eat one every day to keep her health up (you know, so she has the “stamina” to be a politician). In her honor, students should be treated to a nice platter of hot wings—it’s a great sit-in-your stomach kind of food, and they’ll only give you bathroom troubles long after the debate is over. I recommend sticking to a sauce with less than 100,000-Scoville Unit potency, just so the entire audience doesn’t need to keep consuming milk during the debate.

–Peter Dissinger

Spicy lamb meatball kebabs with mint sauce:

It goes perfectly with the theme of the night, which is skewering and roasting everyone else. I recommend carefully removing the meatballs from the skewer before enjoying them, as you’re sure to jump in outrage or at least shudder with horror at some point during the night. Like the candidates, you don’t want to accidentally impale yourself through your mouth! The mint sauce should help cool down any flaming taste buds, but more importantly, it can serve as a breath freshener to get rid of that sudsy taste the debate is sure to leave in your mouth.
–Liz Felix

Margaritas

Let’s be honest—the only way to get through this debate without countless eye rolls and a general dissatisfaction for capitalism and a corrupt two-party system is to get tipsy. Debates can get so boring; a crowd of 100 (legally) drunk college kids who are extremely well-educated in politics and civics will add some much-needed color to the red, blue and pasty white backdrop. We don’t have rowdy tailgates, so we have to put our drunken spirit somewhere—why not the debate? And the next morning, when you wake up slightly groggy and have that feeling of regret in your stomach, just blame the debate.
–Ariel Kravitz

Diet Coke:

We recommend a Diet Coke as the non-alcoholic beverage of choice because you’re going to need something to wash those Heavy Apps down with. The Donald once even tweeted that, “I have never seen a thin person drink Diet Coke.” You can share one with the Donald because, always a man of irony, he too enjoys a Diet Coke from time to time. Alternatively, Diet Coke is said to wash blood off of crime scenes, so it’ll probably be able to wash off the look on your face (or wash down the shots you take) when you hear “email,” “excuse me” or “tax return” for the 57th time in the town hall debate. Yet another added bonus: it’s caffeinated aka a yuuuuge source of stamina.
–Lizzi Kehoe

Orange glazed nuts:

What better way to honor the Donald, than serving an assortment of orange glazed nuts? This substantial and nutritious snack is the perfect on-the-go fuel for those stuck in line outside Whittaker Hall or waiting in the AC for the main event to begin. Even if you can’t attend the debate, this twist on the classic mixed nut assortment is guaranteed to make everyone watching in your dorm shout out in unison, “You have the best snacks.” The salty combination will be an explosion of flavor that will help ease the pain of what will be displayed in front of you. What’s even better? The nuts were imported from Russia. Tax-free.
–Jamie Reiner

Trump Steaks (™)

When it came to steaks, Trump raised the stakes, until his steak business failed. Treat yourself, because America sure isn’t treating you this election season! You don’t need to sob into a mug full of $3 wine from Trader Joe’s! Put down the freezer-burned T.G.I. Friday’s jalapeno poppers and kiss your discount lead-glazed plate set goodbye! You deserve the rarest filet mignon money can buy—Trump barely sold any steaks during his brief stint in the industry, which means there are, if any, only a few of them resting cryogenically in a lonely freezer somewhere. Steaks don’t get much rarer than that.
–Sarah Hands

Trump Tower taco bowls

We all know Trump loves Hispanics, based on his Cinco de Mayo tweet that pictured him with the “best taco bowls” from the Trump Tower and the accompanying caption, “I love Hispanics!” How better for the Trump campaign to solidify its stellar relationship with the Hispanic community than to represent their culture with THE BEST taco bowls? Plus, the bowl keeps carbs to a minimum (we wouldn’t want anyone putting on unnecessary weight).

–Sean Lundergan