Huck Botko and Andrew Gurland, co-directors and screenwriters of “The Virginity Hit,” had one idea when creating this movie: to remake “Superbad” as a tribute to the “YouTube Generation.” It’s a shame they forgot to bring along the other important ingredients needed for a film: dialogue, plot, acting—those kinds of things.

You can just imagine them discussing the film in the board room:

“This is going to be a buddy movie, but let’s make the hero really awkward. And his best friend is going to be this fat, obnoxious jerk who speaks like Jonah Hill!”

“Wait didn’t they make this film before?”

“Oh yeah… Wait! Let’s shoot the entire film on cellphones!”

“Yes! Best movie ever! …Penis.” (Botko’s probable reply, judging the type of repartee in “The Virginity Hit.”)

The “plotline” goes as follows: after Matt (Matt Bennett) gets cheated on by his girlfriend Nicole (Nicole Weaver), he is persuaded by his moronic brother Zack (Zack Pearlman) to let his friends film him losing his virginity to Nicole. The plan is to dump her on camera, post the videos on YouTube and revel in her defeat.

Does that sound ridiculous to you too? Welcome to Matt’s world. He’s a Michael Cera-wannabe with twice the awkwardness, half the backbone and none of the charisma.

The main difference between this film and your average teen comedy is that it is filmed by handheld cameras.The “Cloverfield” treatment does not add anything apart from realism, however. The film wants to be “authentic,” but none of the action is even remotely believable. It’s pretend realism. Would anyone really buy a porn star so that his friend could lose his virginity to her? Even by YouTube’s standards, the action is over-the-top.

Some of the more elaborate set pieces may make you grin, but they do not rescue “The Virginity Hit” from its abysmal plot and dialogue. The problem with watching a bunch of 18-year old jerks improvising their dialogue is that they’re not funny at all. When the jokes fall flat, Botko and Gurland react by showing a lot of nudity, which leaves us wondering whether they have confused YouTube and YouPorn.

“The Virginity Hit” is one in a growing number of teen comedies vying to rival the likes of “Superbad” and “American Pie.” Yes, these movies had crisp one-liners, but more importantly, they made you care for the characters. During “The Virginity Hit,” I found myself wishing that Zack would die in a very slow and painful way and that his death might, in some way, make up for the time I lost watching the film. The only reason I cared whether Matt actually lost his virginity was that in doing so, this terrible movie would finally end.