Joe Biden

Pretty Fly | The Offspring
Biden psyches himself up with this one before visiting Barack at home.

American Idiot | Green Day
Seventy-four percent. That’s how many students in the graduating class of ’65 at the University of Delaware were smarter than the prospective vice president.

Brain Dead | The Vines
Which is, verbatim, how Biden describes W.

Because I Got High | Afro-Man
Biden sponsored the Reducing Americans’ Vulnerability to Ecstasy Act (clever acronym, Joe), which came down hard on makers and users of date-rape drugs, meaning he will go down in history as “prospective VP most likely to cock-block you.”

Let’s Impeach the President | Neil Young
This is more or less verbatim too; Biden’s advisers shot down his original idea to challenge the president to fisticuffs at dawn.

Cheating on You | Franz Ferdinand
Biden failed a class in law school for plagiarizing.

Fifth Symphony | Beethoven
Biden’s been a fan since opening night. McCain was quoted as saying “I never understand these kids today and their noise.”

War Sucks Let’s Party! | Anti-Flag
Biden himself escaped getting drafted for ’Nam five times from ’63-’68. Curiously, in ’68, when he graduated and his student status was dropped, he got a permanent deferral because of “asthma.” I’m just saying, that’s pretty convenient asthma.

Sick of Elephants | Andrew Bird
Biden’s also into Beck’s “Jackass.”

Ramblin’ Man | The Allman Brothers Band
Seriously, all I hear is “Blah, blah, blah, threat against the president, blah.”

Ch-Check It Out | Beastie Boys
Biden had a stutter when he was a kid.

Sarah Palin

Back in the USSR | The Beatles
She can see Russia from her house!

Killer Queen | Queen
Now! With every GOP VP candidate: lifetime NRA membership!

War Pigs | Black Sabbath
Burning? Brainwashing? It’s like biography.

Dirty Deeds | AC/DC
Palin knows how to deal with a budget, as her most substantial public service was as mayor of a town of about 5,000. She was able to cut costs by having rape victims in her town pay for their own rape kits. Don’t worry; the money saved probably went to her town’s “bridge to nowhere.”

Hot in Here | Nelly
Palin has been quoted as saying: “I’m not one though who would attribute [global warming] to being man-made.” She also wants polar bears off the endangered species list. If she can see them from her house, she must know what she’s talking about.

The Beast and the Harlot | Avenged Sevenfold
Palin surrounds herself with winners, from bosses to daughters.

Legs | ZZ Top
According to all those “sexy bikini photos,” Palin has great gams.

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper | Blue Oyster Cult
God, McCain’s reaper can’t come fast enough, can he, Sarah?

most R.E.M. songs (World Leader Pretend, Wrong Child, Crush with Eyeliner, Let Me In…)
Apparently Michael Stipe is some kind of Sarah Palin Nostradamus.  There is almost no song that can’t refer to Palin. “Bang and Blame?” Come on!

*Bonus Track: F.C.P.S.I.T.S.G.E.P.G.E.P.G.E.P.
Look it up online.