“Break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” is a catchy song by Ariana Grande I have way too many thoughts on, but really that’s a discussion for another article. However, the idea of being bored or unsatisfied in a relationship is very real, and it’s okay to feel that way.

Objectively, breakups are hard. You decide to end things with someone you once loved, and you have to grapple with what that means for your future. Maybe you don’t want to go through all of that because you don’t want to hurt the other person–which is understandable–but it’s also important to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

If you’re not feeling happy in your relationship, you should evaluate why you’re feeling that way. No one is obligated to love (or if you haven’t said that word yet, like) anyone else, and it is alright to end a relationship just because you want to.

All of this being said, some relationship angst is caused by problems that are completely solvable. If you think this is your situation, then your best bet is to just communicate. Communication is hard but honestly, the hardest part is just getting up the nerve to do it. It’s never comfortable to talk with someone about how your relationship is unsatisfying, but you can’t solve a problem if you don’t talk about it.

If you’re nervous about how to discuss your frustrations, try to go in with an open mind; use “I” statements and remind yourself that your significant other’s intentions probably aren’t as negative as their impact. Just remember that in the long run, talking about something that’s bothering you is usually better than not, and it just might save your relationship!

Your attempts at communication might be fruitless, or your relationship problems just aren’t solvable. And that’s okay too. Everything in life comes and goes, and it’s okay to outgrow or lose interest in people. You shouldn’t feel pressured to stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy just because it’s familiar. You’d be doing your significant other a disservice if you stayed with them without really wanting to.

As hard as all of this may be to hear, breakups are a normal part of life; they show that you’ve grown as a person, and they open up opportunities for better love in the future. Breakups aren’t fun, but we all get through them. Anyway, Alexa, play “Single Again” by Big Sean.