Root, root, root for the Cardinals

| Staff Reporter

Anybody but Boston.

As a Yankees fan whose team tragically missed out on the playoffs, “anybody but Boston” was the team I was rooting for to win the World Series once the postseason began. My second-favorite team on any given day is whoever happens to be playing the Red Sox, meaning I spent the early rounds cheering for Tampa Bay (by becoming a temporary Rays supporter, I nearly doubled the team’s fan base) and Detroit, but to no avail.

St. Louis, then, is the only remaining obstacle before my worst fear is realized: a championship parade down Massachusetts Avenue.

It’s fair to assume that my fellow Yankee lovers will be cheering against Boston, New York’s biggest rival, as the Red Sox play the Cardinals for the 2013 Major League Baseball championship. And if you attend Wash. U. and are either a fan of one of the other 28 teams or a baseball agnostic, you should join local St. Louisans in going to war against Red Sox Nation. Here are 10 reasons to cheer for St. Louis in this year’s World Series:

Root for the Cards because a victory parade just a MetroLink ride away sounds too good to pass up.

Root for the Cards because baseball is religion in St. Louis, and if the Cardinals clinch the championship at baseball’s Mecca, Boston’s Fenway Park, it will be Christmas in October for the game’s worshippers.

Root for the Cards because unlike David Ortiz, his rotund, power-hitting, lefty counterpart, St. Louis first baseman Matt Adams can actually play in the field.

Root for the Cards because Boston’s mayor, Thomas Menino, thinks the championship trophy is called the “World Series Cup”—just the latest in a long line of sports malapropisms on Menino’s part—and no proper St. Louisan would ever utter such an erroneous phrase.

Root for the Cards because a St. Louis win is a surefire way to inject some sports excitement into the South 40.

Root for the Cards because their roster gives college students hope that Millennials can be successful in their early 20s. Michael Wacha and Carlos Martinez are just 22 years old—the same age as some undergraduates at Wash. U. Shelby Miller and Trevor Rosenthal were also born in the ’90s; Joe Kelly, at 25, is practically ancient by Cardinals’ pitching standards.

Root for the Cards because #WachaFlockaFlame deserves to trend on Twitter at some point in the next week.

Root for the Cards because they’re gritty, play the game the right way and embody all that is righteous about life in the Midwest (this one’s for my editor, a fan of the flashy, showboating, “Mickey Mouse” Dodgers).

Root for the Cards because if the Redbirds ever had a fried-chicken-in-the-clubhouse scandal like the Sox did two years ago, they’d at least do it right: with Pappy’s Smokehouse barbecue.

Root for the Cards because it’s root, root, root for the home team; if they don’t win it’s a shame. St. Louis is your second home now, and it’s time to embrace the fandom that residence entails.

Many prognostications have this evenly matched series running the full seven games; if that’s the case, the final contest will be on Halloween night. As young vampires and witches terrorize neighborhoods across the country, I can only hope the ghost of Babe Ruth joins his fellow monsters and chooses the holiday to make one last appearance above Fenway Park.

Join me in my mantra, newly minted Cardinals fans: anybody but Boston.

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