Why is it so hard to say goodbye? It’s taken three-and-a-half years to move up in StudLife, starting as a Cadenza reporter, moving on to TV editor, then movie editor, then senior Cadenza editor (the pinnacle), and now, Cadenza reporter again—you’d think I would’ve stopped sometime there in the middle to think about how I was going to say, “Bye.”

But thinking like that presupposes that I had time to stop and think, and I never did. There were always deadlines to meet, articles to chase. Critical opinions to sort out in movie reviews (and in this article). Even the way I started as senior Cadenza editor came on haphazardly. In October 2009, applying for senior Cadenza editor hadn’t even crossed my mind. We were in the middle of an editor cycle, Steph Spera (my co-editor this past year, and stay tuned, because I have more to say about her later) was senior Cadenza editor, and I was movie editor. That night in October, she sent me a Gchat, and in writing this article, I racked my brain for the conversation’s details, but they weren’t coming to me. Thank god that Google saves this stuff. Here it is, in all of its awkward glory:

Stephanie: hey perc

you know i’m going abroad in the spring

me: i think i knew that

Stephanie: so, future cadenza editor

right

right

:D

me: oh my

hmmm

i guess

will you tutor me?

Stephanie: haha

me: i need a tutor!

Stephanie: yeahhhh

obviously

i mean, i think sam might make you apply

*sam or percy

*Sam or perry

holy god

perry

me: hldn brb

“Hldn brb” should forever be known as the moment I jumped up from my computer, did a painful somersault on the carpet and blasted Weezer for half an hour. For some back-story, editors are traditionally chosen at the end of the spring semester, and the senior staff then works together for a full year. I was joining the party late, and I didn’t know most of the current staff. Things were hard for me at first; I wasn’t sure who to go to when I had problems, when I needed favors, when I needed extra space. But strangely enough, I was never overwhelmed.

I can’t stress this next point enough: I would’ve been lost up a creek if not for the immense kindness of Perry Stein. Perry was editor in chief at the time I became senior Cadenza editor, and she helped me every step of the way. She invited me to editorial board meetings, which helped me get to know my colleagues. Her criticism was always legitimate and reasonable; her praise was always measured. She’s heard me tell her this before, but more people should hear it: Thank you for helping me come out of my shell, Perry.

And this underscores the larger reason why it’s so hard to say goodbye to StudLife. I don’t want to say goodbye to all of the friends I’ve made. And that’s what saying goodbye to StudLife is. I couldn’t begin to list all of the adventures I’ve gone on with StudLifers. But it’s finally time to say goodbye, and in a few months we’ll be all over the country, and I want to put down on paper those memorable times we had when we were together in StudLife country.

To Matt Mitgang, Paula Avery and Michelle Merlin: I’ve never enjoyed anything as much as I enjoyed our trip to D.C. to cover the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear. To Steve Hardy: We’ll always have “Island in the Sun.” To Nick Hawco: We’ll always have Burger King. To Nora Long: We’ll always have WUStock 2010. To Georgie Morvis: You threw a mean WUStock 2011. To Alex Terrono: I remember writing what was your first article together. You’ve grown into a great writer. To Davis Sargeant: I’m sad to see you leave Cadenza, but come on, you know you’re destined for greater things. To Michael Yang: You almost convinced me to buy “StarCraft 2.” Almost. To Craig Ostrin: “Portal 2” is our b—-. To Molly Sevcik: I’m “Drunk Again.” To Hannah Schwartz: I hope to run into you at Kaldi’s again. To Adam Rubin: Close the door when you shower, or someone might take a Pikachu. To Princeton Hynes: Where are you? To Alex Dropkin: You’re right. That’s a weird-looking owl. To Puneet: We should start a dance company where all we do is rock out to “My Name is Jonas.” To Kate Gaertner: Thank you for helping me analyze “True Grit” and for the brownies that came with our analysis. To Josh Goldman: You’re a super-bowler. To Shayna Makaron: You’re a scary-fast sledder, and your hot cocoa is the perfect compliment to “30 Rock.” To Andie Hutner: Cadenza is in good hands. And if I forgot you, I’m so sorry. Seriously, my memory is always disappointing me. So give me a call and help me fill in the gaps.

And to my co-editor, Steph Spera: You’re the greatest. Thank you for getting me through the stupidly rough times and enabling me further during my high times. We had a mantra all year long: “We’re on top of things,” and as cheesy as it sounds, we definitely ended up on top. Now log on to Gchat already, I have stuff to tell you!