For anyone who hasn’t come to a free Hillel/Chabad dinner and experienced the crazy world of Judaism, this week we are celebrating our High Holidays. These are Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year (5779), and Yom Kippur, a day of forgiveness and atonement for any sins of the past year. While Rosh Hashanah is marked by a distinct dish—apples and honey, for a sweet new year—Yom Kippur is notable for requiring a fast, meant to be a symbol of literally purifying ourselves of sin (although when I was younger I just looked forward to the huge dinners before and after my adult relatives fasted).

This year, the time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur also sits as the edge of the transition to my new life as a college student. So, along with a 24-hour fast this coming Wednesday for the religious observance, I decided to give up everything except water from Monday to Friday last week. This time, I wanted to focus on experimentation and reflection, in hopes of starting the new year as the happiest and healthiest version of myself.

Before going any further, I want to clarify that these are my reasons for undergoing a five-day fast and a journal of my experience. Neither I nor Student Life condones fasting as a method to remedy any health problems; in fact, it can easily lead to sickness, or contribute to an eating disorder if done improperly. I took a personal journey after doing my own research and weighing the risks for myself, and, as you’ll see, my week wasn’t all weight loss and enlightenment.

My motivation was threefold: Fasting would provide health benefits, challenge my self-control and strengthen my relationship with my body.
Modern humans predate agriculture by almost 240,000 years. As I see it, this means that our bodies haven’t had anywhere near enough evolutionary time to catch up to our diet, both the actual foodstuffs and the having three meals per day.

A small body of research is starting to back this theory, suggesting that periodic fasting strengthens your immune system, cleanses your body of toxins and even slows down aging and neurodegeneration. These benefits only increase with time, and it’s in these longer fasts that secondary effects can also pop up; the lifestyle bloggers and health nuts who have taken up this challenge before me all report some combination of mental clarity, clearer skin, and slowed-down time. As I’d been literally feeling the mental fog of exhaustion since starting school, and I’d always wanted time-control powers, it was time to clean out my system.

I’d also been meaning to address my (lack of) self-control and communication with my body. Not having an abundance of snacks in my house like I did this summer has led these last three weeks to be some of the healthiest in my life, but being unable to say no to the constant pizza and soda I’m being offered, as well as my recent discovery of the frozen yogurt machine in Paws & Go, are threatening to overpower that. I needed to prove to myself that I could resist these temptations. I also tend to only listen to my body’s signals, whether I’m hungry, full, sick or anxious, when it’s absolutely necessary, which probably isn’t the best physically or mentally. By monitoring my feelings throughout the week, I hoped to improve our relationship and ensure that we were cooperating on my health throughout the next four years.
With all this in mind, I set a series of ground rules:

1. Do not consume anything besides water until Friday night.

With that, I finished my Sunday night with some dark chocolate and got ready for a long week.

Monday

10 a.m.: Consciously knowing I won’t be eating doesn’t affect my hunger level. Even as I take a sandwich out of my fridge to deliver to a friend, I don’t bat an eye.
1 p.m.: On a normal day, I would have eaten by now. During my next three classes, I’m still not particularly hungry, but my eyes start to linger on others’ food.
4 p.m.: The first side effect appears: I’m feeling way too cold for this weather. It’s as if my body doesn’t want to waste resources keeping my limbs warm. When I move outside and sit under the 85-degree sun, it feels just right.
5:30 p.m.: Not only is my “Secret Lives of Plants” lecture largely about food, but my professor literally passes around apple slices to explain a chemical reaction (thank you, Dr. Rick Vierstra). As the clock strikes dinner, my hunger is audible.
8 p.m.: I’ve been working for an hour and a half straight without realizing. Not having to think about or stand in line for lunch and dinner freed up a lot of time and mental energy.
10:17 p.m.: My friend walks into our common room and asks if anyone wants a cupcake. When no one does, he says, “I’ll just put it in the free food pile,” a collection of snacks I now realize has been right behind me. I’m way too relieved when the food finally disappears an hour later.

Tuesday

8 a.m.: Despite having a stressful dream that involves eating (of course), I wake up calmly and comfortably…an hour and a half before my alarm. Like the productive go-getter that I am, I go back to sleep.
10 a.m.: My second wakeup is even more refreshed, almost joyful. The feeling only starts to dampen when I tire myself out biking to class.
11 a.m.: Dr. Vierstra decides once again to pass out food, this time a bowl of pistachios for the class to share and later, a celery stalk. Halfway through the period, I also start experiencing an annoying headache, which drinking more water does little to alleviate. I browse Reddit in class for the first time this semester, which I attribute more to the headache than anything else.
2 p.m.: I must have flipped some mental switch; even when studying outside of Subway, my background hunger doesn’t increase and I don’t have a strong desire to eat. Again, not having to think about food allows me to focus longer and more intently on my work and reading.
10 p.m.: Between walking to and from Blueberry Hill and standing through the SALES show there, I’m on my feet for almost four hours. The effort seems to bring back my headache, and my legs can barely move on the way back, but I surprisingly don’t collapse from exhaustion.

Wednesday

1 a.m.: (same night) My body apparently doesn’t have the resources to put toward recovery right now. My legs feel as if they’re still walking, making showering more painful than relaxing, but I make it through and go to bed.
10 a.m.: I wake up strangely tired for having had eight hours of sleep, but I’m starting to feel like more of an “active participant” in the world. I notice a new detail in the poster I picked up last week, and I walk outside excited.
11 a.m.: I’m debating Ubering back from class. My biking pace has slowed to match my typical running pace, and, while I never grow so tired that I need to stop, I have to consciously push myself to move.
12 p.m.: Today I face the hardest obstacle of the week, the event that almost stopped me from fasting in the first place: lunch at Whittemore House. Apparently, only a block away from Bear’s Den and the Danforth University Center stands a five-star restaurant, selfishly kept to only faculty and alumni. Having been invited for my submission to the Common Reading Program contest, I have to watch, drooling, as the waiter brings out the best-smelling trout and burgers on campus. Then dessert. On one level, however, I’m thankful I don’t partake in the food of the gods, as there’d be no way I can go back to ordering Half and Halfs after.
4 p.m.: Eight hours is evidently not enough sleep without food. At the same time, I notice as the day continues that the tiredness is more just a general sensation; I’m not actually closing my eyes as much as I normally do when I’m this drained.
8 p.m.: After a nap, I’m doing great. I have a long conversation with someone new and feel like the most natural version of myself.

Thursday

11 a.m.: I still barely have the energy to walk or bike anywhere, and I start to worry about tonight’s dance callback. Additionally, eight hours of sleep was once again insufficient, making it hard to be proud of staying on top of my health.
12:40 p.m.: My mind is completely focused, zeroed in on one goal…of taking a nap. Even realizing I left my phone on a hammock outside isn’t strong enough motivation to pull me out of bed.
1:13 p.m.: I reach my breaking point. Whatever mental benefits and extra time I’m gaining are being negated by the tiredness and time spent napping, and having difficulty walking is not something I’m ready to handle. I break the fast with some almonds and yogurt; a couple hours later, I treat myself to the grill special at Bear’s Den as my first real meal since Sunday.
When I next look in the mirror, I take a moment to thank my body for not complaining about hunger after the first day. As I had hoped, my body and mind fought together in this challenge until the tiredness was too much for us both. We were on the same page, and I vow to keep things that way.
Will I ever try a long fast again? Probably, although not for several months at least, and I’d have to cap it at two days, to get in some quick benefits and then get out before my legs die.
For everyone else fasting this Wednesday, stay in touch with your body. It is your ally on this day, not an obstacle, and you’ll have to forgive it for any complaints as you transition to a new year. And please don’t forget to sleep.