Scene
Adventures of a Caniac: My failed journey to winning free chicken fingers for a year

As kids, we are all told that we can do whatever we set our minds to. What parents don’t tell you, however, is that when you’re trying to get free chicken at Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers for a year, you should expect complete and utter failure.
On Tuesday morning, I wake up at 7 a.m. Normally when I’m awake at this hour, I’m repeatedly pressing the snooze button, but today, I’m full of excitement. That’s because it’s the grand opening of Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers restaurant on Hampton Avenue. When the doors open at 10 a.m., the first 20 people will win free chicken for a year.
In the name of something called "journalism" I am awake at the crack of dawn to try and win free fried chicken for a year.
— Nick Kauzlarich (@NKauzlarich) March 29, 2016
Named after a yellow Labrador retriever, Raising Cane’s is renowned for selling only chicken fingers and for making its top-secret Cane’s sauce. The fast-food chain has more than 250 locations nationwide, and the one opening on Hampton Avenue is the seventh location in Missouri.
I call for my Uber at 8 a.m., but not before I Google “should I sit in the front or back seat of an Uber while I’m alone.” I would’ve left earlier, but, as a resident of The Lofts, I didn’t want my Uber driver to get carjacked in the wee hours of the morning.
My driver, John, arrives in a mid-1990s red Nissan Altima, and I take a seat in the back.
After I tell John about my pursuit to win free Raising Cane’s chicken for a year, he replies in a half-joking tone that he wants to jump in line with me. He repeats himself five minutes later—out of the blue—so I wonder whether he is actually being sincere. Alas, John drops me off at 8:20 a.m. and continues on with his day.
Should I have invited my Uber driver to stand in line with me? Life is full of regrets.
— Nick Kauzlarich (@NKauzlarich) March 29, 2016
A part of me regrets not inviting him to join me. For one thing, it could’ve made the experience a lot more interesting and been the start of a budding friendship. On the other hand, how would I make conversation for two hours? If there were already 19 people in line, who would get to be number 20? These were questions I didn’t want to discover the answer to.
Upon arriving, I feel a glimmer of hope. The line appears to be pretty short, so maybe, just maybe, I will be one of the first 20 people. For that single moment, I imagine what life would be like with free chicken for a year. Honestly, my life with a year’s supply of chicken would look exactly the same. I would probably scale back my McDonald’s eating to only six days a week, but, hey, at least I’d have a fun fact to talk about for the rest of my life.
However, my hope quickly fades after other people in line tell me that I am number 24—usually a number worn by legends such as basketball player Kobe Bryant, stock car racer Jeff Gordon and baseball player Ken Griffey Jr. But, today, that number means failure.
To try to cheer me up, other people in line make sure to point out that I shouldn’t be too sad because “at least you’ll get a free t-shirt and a free meal for your next visit.” As if that were any consolation.
While I may have been 4 people away from getting free chicken for a year, at least I got this free t-shirt. pic.twitter.com/A8CCFtW9N4
— Nick Kauzlarich (@NKauzlarich) March 29, 2016
After speaking with those toward the front of the line, including six Washington University students, I immediately realized that I was not worthy of winning free chicken in the first place.
A group of five Wash. U. seniors, two of whom are lifelong “Caniacs,” brought their own tent and had been camping out in the parking lot since 9:30 p.m. in order to be the first people in line. In fact, one of them had driven out 36 hours before just to check that nobody else had started lining up yet.
Then, there is junior Darren Li, who went to the St. Louis Public Library across the street at 5 p.m. to do homework and keep a watchful eye on the line to make sure he was one of the first 20 people. He then judged the exact time to be in line, ultimately 11 p.m., and slept on the concrete parking lot for the rest of the night.
Webster and SLU banners adorn the inside, but no WashU banner. Get on it @WUSTL pic.twitter.com/9bUEEjtybr
— Nick Kauzlarich (@NKauzlarich) March 29, 2016
At first, I am blown away by their dedication and ingenuity, but then I grow concerned. What did being a Caniac really mean? Would I have to abandon my undying love for Chick-fil-A? Suddenly, I am not so sure that I want to be a part of this.
By the time the doors open, the line has grown to about 100 people, and my fear of becoming a Caniac is gone after being greeted by Fredbird, the St. Louis Cardinals’ mascot. (Full disclosure: I am a huge Cardinals fan, and I may or may not have two Fredbird bobbleheads displayed in my childhood bedroom.)
No occasion is too big for FredBird as the doors have opened here at @Raising_Canes pic.twitter.com/ro95hXS4Dx
— Nick Kauzlarich (@NKauzlarich) March 29, 2016
Next, I take a look at the menu. Raising Cane’s offers four different combo meals, including three, four and six-piece chicken finger meals and one sandwich comprised of, you guessed it, chicken fingers. I order the box combo, which includes four chicken fingers, the famous Cane’s sauce, Texas toast, fries, coleslaw and a drink, all for a reasonable price of $8.
Sign at @Raising_Canes advertising the only meal they sell: chicken fingers. pic.twitter.com/314oX9Fqsf
— Nick Kauzlarich (@NKauzlarich) March 29, 2016
The service is friendly and fast, especially considering how busy it is. Nonetheless, I’m not able to find a place to sit by myself, so I sit at an oddly placed bench across from the door.
Since it is the only meal they sell, I have high expectations for the highly acclaimed fresh chicken fingers, but, ultimately, I am disappointed. I tend to like my fried chicken crispy and full of flavor, yet these chicken fingers are soft and dry.
To try to add some flavor, I dip the chicken fingers in the top-secret Cane’s sauce, which I can only describe as a tangy sauce containing some mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise. If you ask anybody I know, they will tell you that I hate condiments, but this sauce is pretty decent, overall.
The crinkle-cut French fries are just the way I like them: salty and not potato-y. (I’m a great food critic, aren’t I?) The Texas toast is almost worth the price of the meal alone, with just the right blend of garlic and butter on sesame-seeded bread. Since I’m a picky eater who avoids vegetables at all costs, I don’t touch the coleslaw, but other customers seem to like it.
Following my meal, I catch up with Li and ask him whether the free chicken for a year is, well, actually free and without strings attached. Li tells me that the deal only includes one free box meal per week, but he is undeterred.
“I’m pretty happy about it. I think it’s definitely enough for me to get sick of after a little while,” Li said.
So what did I take away from this whole experience? First of all, as much as I don’t like to believe it, I am a sucker for capitalism. More importantly, I learned from my fellow Caniacs that I can redeem myself by winning free chicken for a year at Chick-fil-A’s grand opening on Thursday in South County. Who wants to join me?