Some people have certain phrases that bug them. For example, many of my childhood teachers would always tell us that they hated the phrase “I can’t” or “I just don’t get this; I’m stupid.” While some children actually are stupid, this phrase is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy that hinders those children from doing their best. One phrase that just pisses me off is “nice guys finish last.” Untrue. I am a nice guy. Do I finish first? Haha—nope. Still, I certainly do not come close to last.

Even when I’m down on my luck in my love life, I refuse to let this phrase enter my mind. After all, it would only lower my self-confidence and make me falsely think that I’m incapable of ever finding true love. I’ve compiled a few tips to help those nice guys and girls out in finding love.

Let’s say you’re a sweet girl who goes out one night to a bar or club with some friends. You are single, and you are definitely ready to mingle and meet a potential romantic partner. When you’re out dancing, casually check out the dance floor for any potentially-attractive guys. If you find one, casually bump into him or “accidentally” brush his arm. Just don’t do anything more than this and definitely don’t call him over or grab him. This will scare the guy, and more often than not, he’ll think you’re a psycho spaz.

If you’re dancing with the girls and you don’t see any cute guys dancing—because honestly, are there any straight guys who really like to dance? —take a break from getting your womanizer on and head over to the bar or lounge area. There are bound to be cute guys at the bar. This is a perfect opportunity for you and your girl friends to approach a group of good-looking guys and mingle, and if they offer to buy you drinks, you know you’re in.

If you, like me, are a nice guy, offer to buy that cute girl a drink. If she politely says no and turns you down, it’s really all right. Be proud that you asked her. Don’t feel bad about yourself; instead, move on and find another girl to talk with. Just don’t be a creeper and make a move on a bunch of random girls. That would be a tad weird.

In the end, you don’t have to be that too-cool-for-school guy or girl, because honestly, who likes those people anyway? You may hit the ground, but at least you’ll have a story to tell. After all, Lindsay Lohan was a mean girl, and look where it got her.

If you know what song I got those words from, you’re probably just as weird as I am—see below for answer.

* It’s from some random Disney artist who never made it big, Brie Larson.