Embracing the humanities’ stereotype

| Staff Writer

I’m a humanities major. Everyday, I hear the stereotypes—I have no idea what I want to do, I don’t have real work, or I am just taking random classes that I find interesting and probably won’t help me in the job world. Yet just because I’ve been put in a box doesn’t mean it isn’t right—I actually have no idea what I’m doing with my life.

But in no way does that mean my classes aren’t hard. This isn’t an easy school for anyone, and I have high expectations for myself academically. Yes, I mostly write essays instead of taking those big midterms that all you premeds perpetually worry about, but as a premed biomedical engineering and computer science double major with a minor in physics, do you really want to write 15 pages worth of essays in three days? Also, is your curriculum really sustainable? Think about that. You might die in a sea of WebWork before you hit graduation.

And as for the premed curriculum, do you even want to be a doctor? I mean, obviously being a doctor is a noble profession. Especially if you’re planning to spend your days prescribing anti-aging creams or doing liposuctions. But the fact that you put your hands over your eyes during the surgeries on “Grey’s Anatomy” makes me nervous about your career plans. And a lot of Washington University students come in premed and change their minds. But thanks for telling me to take an aspirin the last time I had a headache. That was life-changing advice that justifies your potential to succeed in the medical field.

You get extra printing money even though I’m the one who writes four essays a week. I’m jealous.

OK, so you’re dropping the premed curriculum? And out of the engineering school? I’m shocked. Forget what I said before—I really thought you’d make it to medical school…but the business school could be fun. You’ll get to wear button-down shirts and khaki pants everyday. You can waste endless Bear Bucks at Einstein Bros. and Starbucks. Even your toilet paper is the fanciest toilet paper at Wash. U. You get extra printing money even though I’m the one who writes four essays a week. I’m jealous. I’m not saying that you switched to the easiest curriculum around, but my friend who is a premed b-schooler tells me that there’s a reason people say “b-school preschool.” Have fun with your class-free Fridays and endless group projects.

Oh, and you’re doing a second major in the Sam Fox School? That sounds like a lot of work. If I accidentally wake up at 4:30 a.m. one day, I’ll remember that you’re in studio and pray for you. We might occasionally run into each other on the Circulator! But I’ll be getting off at Mallinckrodt with a backpack, and you’ll be lugging a canvas all the way to the part of campus I never venture to. Sounds like a good time.

There are stereotypes attached to all of our academic lives, and guess what: most of them are fairly accurate. Yes, I read a lot and have few career plans but that doesn’t make me a lesser student. Neither does your interest in the self-flagellation that is premed. Or yours in the see-and-be-seen world of Bauer. Or yours way down in the shadow lands of Wash. U. because no one wants to see your suffering. All of the other curriculums sound kind of awful, which is how I know Arts & Sciences is where I’m meant to be. As a directionless book-lover, I’m going to stick to reading 300-page novels in one night and writing essays at 3 a.m. Hopefully I’ll figure out what to do with my life at some point during the process, but in the meantime, I’m glad I’m not you.

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