It’s not an over-exaggeration to say that “Fifty Shades of Grey” has been a 21st-century cultural behemoth, a social (and sexual) phenomenon and a hot button topic for hundreds upon hundreds of columnists. From the first book’s release in 2011, “Fifty Shades” has become an erotic indulgence for tens of millions of horny housewives and inexperienced readers looking for a quick workshop in kinky sex.

Unquestionably the most talked-about book of the past five years, it’s hard to believe just how big the series has gotten, especially considering the fact that it all started off as fantasy-fulfillment “Twilight” fan fiction (even author E.L. James has admitted that Christian Grey is basically her ideal man). Some have even credited “Fifty Shades” with the rise of the e-reader. After all, who would want to be caught dead on the morning commute with that telltale cover?

Regardless of just how much of an effect the book has had on the sexual habits of middle-class America, there’s no doubt that the upcoming movie adaptation to be released this Friday will increase the hysteria even more. However, there is some cause for concern.

Besides the prevalent condemnation of the main relationship in the book as abusive, there are also some seriously unsettling myths about the BDSM (a standard abbreviation for sexual fetishes that include bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) community. Here are some of the biggest lies “Fifty Shades” will be telling you about BDSM in movie theaters this weekend.

Pain has to be involved

Read enough of the books (good luck with even getting through a couple of pages of that drivel) or even watch the suggestive movie trailer and “Fifty Shades” will have you believing that BDSM sex is all whips, clamps, tightly tied ropes and pain. This is not the case. In fact, a common misconception about BDSM is that it always necessarily has to involve some form of pain.

“Submission” is right in the acronym, and it’s key to understanding the appeal of this type of play. Even an act as simple as being told what to do (and following it) can be considered a form of BDSM. By portraying the fetish as inherently violent, the “Fifty Shades” movie risks pushing away a large portion of people who are afraid of that side of discomfort. Sometimes, it can be just as much of a turn-on to follow orders.

Abusive childhood leads to BDSM

It comes to light in the “Fifty Shades” narrative that protagonist and dreamy dominant man himself Christian Grey turns to BDSM as a way to work out mental issues of power and violence that he inherited from a childhood of abuse. Although this “broken man” narrative may be attractive to some women (and to Anastasia, who feels like she can save Christian by being with him), it casts a terrible light on the BDSM community. You don’t need to be mentally unstable or inherently aggressive to get off on dominance and submission.

In fact, the BDSM community is notoriously strong, welcoming and supportive. One of its most repeated mottos is “safe, sane and consensual,” ensuring that participants in the act want to be there and are fully aware of what will be happening to them. You could argue that “sane” is the opposite of Christian Grey.

No BDSM is not an arena to work out lingering psychosis. In fact, it is a surprisingly popular arena that is largely full of willing, sane and normal (at least on the surface) individuals.

Binding (yes, pun-intended) sexual contracts

You know that weird contract that Christian keeps trying to force Ana to sign throughout the entire first book? The one where she has to agree to dress and eat how he likes, exercise as he orders to do and never touch him? Totally not normal.

Although that is a form of consent, which is necessary to safe and enjoyable BDSM relationships, there does not need to always be a written contract. Spoken is OK as well—and you don’t need all those weird clauses. Although some people may find more enjoyment in giving into submissive demands such as Christian’s, its certainly not a necessity for engaging in a BDSM relationship.

Additionally, there should always be an “out” for the contract—if Ana no longer wants to follow Christian’s dictates for her life, there should be a way for her to exit it. Otherwise, the BDSM relationship is no longer consensual.

Multiple orgasms (and on-command)

Less focused on BDSM, but this point is a real kicker. At one point in the book, Ana supposedly has SIX orgasms in one night. If that isn’t ridiculous enough, she is supposedly to orgasm on Christian’s command, exactly when he desires. Sorry to disappoint ladies (and the select population of male readers), but this isn’t possible.

Although women can have multiple orgasms more easily than men, six is a little bit of stretch, even for fantasy fulfillment fiction. At some point, it has to be believable, E.L. James. Additionally, although orgasms can be controlled, delayed or quickened somewhat by foreplay or certain positions, it’s ridiculous to believe that one can just orgasm on command exactly when the other partner says something.

The one thing it does get right

One of the most famous quotes from the novels (and one you might have heard read in a commendable Scottish accent by Jamie Dornan recently on “Jimmy Fallon) comes from Anastasia Steele herself: “I don’t remember reading about nipple clamps in the Bible.”

Well, we really can’t fault her for this one. There’s certainly nothing biblical about kinky BDSM sex, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be safe, fun and enjoyable, as long as every party involved is fully informed and has given consent, weird sex contracts aside.