As you may or may not know, depending on how well your phone carrier handled the texts, there was an accidental activation of the Washington University emergency system on Wednesday. Thankfully, it turned out to not be anything serious, but what if it had? Here are some pop cultural emergencies we wish had been the “potential threat” to Wash. U.’s campus on Wednesday.

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt are married (in Graham Chapel)
When two of our most attractive and talented actors finally tie the knot, it’ll break Twitter. Why not break the Wash. U. emergency system, too?

The Harlem Shake meme is done
The end of the “Harlem Shake” meme has been declared several times, whether in the video in which a guy doing the “Harlem Shake” was punched or the video in which actual residents of Harlem explain why the entire phenomenon is offensive. I’d love to get the email in which it is confirmed to be over once and for all.

Oprah is now our chancellor
While Chancellor Mark Wrighton is great, no one can compare to the self-made empress that is Oprah Winfrey. We already poached the number one from another university to become our provost. I’m sure we’re capable of getting Oprah. She’d be the best chancellor ever. “You get a deanship! And you! And you!”

Wash. U. is now Monsters’ University
Other than “Cars 2,” all Pixar movies are critically acclaimed, successful at the box office and dear to hearts both young and old. Finding out we are actually in a Pixar movie would be worthy of the activation of those emergency sirens. That’s right, Washington University is now Monsters University in St. Louis. MUSTL has a nice ring to it.

Macklemore isn’t coming for WUStock. Beyonce is.
Macklemore is a mediocre rapper whose lyrics are often problematic and whose fans make ignorant comments like “I hate rap, but love Macklemore!” Beyoncé just rocked the Super Bowl halftime show, had one of the most viewed HBO programs in recent history and is a role model for young women everywhere. It’s really no contest. The texts could even come with the audio to her hit song “Ring the Alarm.”