Whenever I read about Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s latest shenanigans, a little part of my heart breaks. Many of us remember growing up and memorizing every single line of the hit sitcom “Full House.” Fans spent hours upon hours watching an obsessive compulsive dad, his insanely vain brother-in-law and an aspiring comedian try to raise three precious and precocious young women. (And that’s even before we knew what precocious meant.)

Thanks to the prosperous tabloid industry, “Full House” fans are well aware of what the Olsen twins are up to. But what happened to the uncle that never seemed to grow up and the kooky next-door neighbor? The answer: nothing spectacular.

“Full House” was definitely Dave Coulier’s (Uncle Joey) shining moment. Since then, he has not really done anything substantial or long lasting in his professional life. He has hosted and starred on several reality shows, such as “America’s Most Talented Kids” (2003), “The Surreal Life” (2003) and “Skating with Celebrities” (2006), where he was paired with the infamous figure skater Nancy Kerrigan. To further cement his D-List status, Coulier has done extensive voice-over work in the past decade. He has provided voices for characters in “Robot Chicken” (2006), “Farce of the Penguins” (2006) and “Bob & Doug” (2006). After a brief stint as the commissioner for Philadelphia-based professional wrestling company Chickara (how random!), Coulier resumed a career that intertwines his two favorite things: children and comedy. Currently, he is touring the United States and Canada with Clean Guys of Comedy, a troupe committed to making children laugh.

Of course, there should be no “Full House” article without the mention of the character that left us utterly puzzled: Kimmy Gibbler. With her explosive personality and odd choice of attire, Kimmy always knew how to make us smile while scratching our heads. Unfortunately for viewers, Kimmy’s portrayer Andrea Barber retired from acting after “Full House” and pursued a career as a housewife. She went to college in Denmark and then married Jeremy Rytky. Together, they have two children, Tate (7) and Felicity (4). According to unreliable sources, Andrea has remained in contact with the rest of the “Full House” cast.

Before I continue wishing for a “Full House” reunion, let me mention two blond tots. Although there was a rumor that “The Suite Life of Zach and Cody” twins Dylan and Cole Sprouse played Jesse and Rebecca’s ridiculously cute offspring Nicky and Alex, the “Full House” twins were actually played by Blake and Dylan Tuomy-Wilhoit. In an effort to escape the lives of children Hollywood stars, the twins have not continued to work in the entertainment industry.