Cadenza hasn’t reviewed a heavy metal band in quite a while, and just the mention of Five Finger Death Punch got us thinking about the genre’s strangely named bands. Here are five of our favorites (if “favorites” means they makes us cry, that is).

5. Symphony X – A symphony is supposed to be cultured and sophisticated. Symphony X makes us think of a symphony comprised of cartoon zombies with x’s over the musicians’ eyes showing their deadness. Weird.

4. Hellhammer – Remind me why I should listen to a band that conjures the image of a hellgod trying to bang my head in.

3. Cradle of Filth – Babies live in cradles. Babies are happy and pure and simple. A desolate baby in a cradle falling apart is just sad.

2. Bloodgood – Maybe not a weird name in itself, but consider that this band plays Christian metal. Now reconsider the imagery their name calls up.

1. Cannibal Corpse – This one doesn’t need a sentence to prove how gross it is.