Help for the game-starved Wii owner

| Cadenza Reporter
The Nintendo Wii was advertised as the video game system anyone could play, with simple, intuitive, motion-sensing controls. But for many Wii owners out there, it has instead become the video game system no one plays: It sits on your shelf, possibly next to your Xbox or PlayStation, and gathers dust until the next time you and a few friends are drunk or bored enough for a few rounds of “Wii Sports” (remember to wear the wrist strap!). Why is that?

Unfortunately, one of the Wii’s greatest strengths is also its weakness. Since there are over 15 million Wii owners in North America alone, publishers can spend next to nothing on a game’s development and then release it with no marketing and still sell hundreds of thousands of copies.

Even when a game turns out to be excellent, most Wii owners never hear about it, since many companies think it’s too hard or too expensive to market their games to people like me, and probably like you, who own a Wii but still enjoy games like “Halo,” “Grand Theft Auto” and “Final Fantasy.”

But fear not, fellow Wii owner! I’ve done my research, and I’d like to present you with a list of games, both those already available and those coming out in the future, which will help satiate your hunger for “real” games. All of these games are available exclusively on the Wii, and although you may have never heard of them, they all receive my personal recommendation.

No More Heroes: Travis Touchdown buys a lightsaber on eBay and finds out he’s been ranked the 11th best assassin in the world. What to do? Fight to first place, obviously. If you like depraved humor and explosions of blood, this is the game for you.

Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros’ Treasure: Don’t let the childish graphics fool you; “Zack & Wiki” is an extremely difficult game. Using a classic point-and-click interface, you must navigate through countless levels of challenging puzzles in order to reclaim all the pieces of the pirate Barbaros’ treasure.

Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition: If you played “Resident Evil 4” on GameCube or PlayStation 2, you’ll know it was easily one of the best games of the generation. The Wii version combines the superior graphics from the GameCube version, the extra modes and unlockables from the PS2 version and new Wii controls.

And if you’re disappointed by the lack of exciting Wii games this fall, here are a few to look forward to for early next year—to warm your lonely gaming heart through the cold winter months.

The Conduit: As Agent Ford, you uncover an alien conspiracy taking place behind the scenes in Washington, D.C. Run and gun your way through what looks to be the most graphically advanced game the system has seen using customizable Wii aiming/shooting controls, and then play online with up to 16 other people, including voice chat.

Mad World: With Mad World’s “Sin City”-like art design, the only color you’ll see will be red. In the game, you can rip a street sign out of the ground, stab it through an enemy’s face and then throw their body into the side of a moving subway train. What more do I need to say? Oh, yeah. You have a chainsaw attached to your hand.

Sign up for the email edition

Stay up to date with everything happening at Washington University and beyond.

Subscribe