Parents’ Weekend takes place at just the right time in the semester. Students are stressed about the midterms they have just taken, and a weekend with family helps bring this worry down to a manageable level. More importantly, students receive the rare opportunity to escape from the Washington University bubble and branch out into restaurants and stores in areas not served by MetroLink. For this one weekend of the semester, students live the lives of normal people.

But let’s be honest. Parents’ Weekend is all about the Benjamins. Nice meals and trips to Target consume a substantial chunk of the weekend. Students always need more food, clothing and supplies, and Parents’ Weekend makes acquiring these items easier. Here’s our guide to what your parents can do to assure that you $pend some quality time together.

• Laundry. You can give Wash. U. Wash the week off.
• Take you out to dinner at a fancy and expensive restaurant, like new Bear’s Den.
• Take you to the Arch and Zoo…and then wonder what else there is to do in St. Louis.
• Sit in on a class and ask an embarrassing question…it will earn you brownie points.
• Take a test for you… maybe that’s wishful thinking.
• Restock your fridge with booze, and possibly some OJ or Hawaiian Punch.
• Bring homemade baked goods. Who said the Freshman 15 happened at Bear’s Den?
• Take you out shopping. A cluttered dorm room can always use more clutter.
• Meet all your friends. That way, you don’t need to continuously remind them of who you hang out with on the phone.
• Give you a giant hug and a kiss on the cheek in the middle of campus. After all, that’s what parents are for.