We were so close to an I-70 showdown. With the Kansas City Royals making the World Series in their first playoff appearance in 1985, all the Cardinals had to do was win the National League pennant for the third time in four years to show the Show Me State to the sports world.

We’ve experienced 11 World Series between the two of us, so here, stately neighbors to the west, we offer you 29 lessons—one for each year since the Royals last made the playoffs—on how to make the rest of your first World Series experience a memorable one.

1. Chow down on some Kansas City-style barbecue as you watch the games.

2. Spend all of WILD refreshing your phone to check the score of Game 3. On WILD night two years ago, the Cardinals staged a ninth-inning comeback in an elimination game against the Nationals; last year, they survived an extra-innings battle against the Dodgers. Maybe Friday will be the Royals’ time to make some Missouri magic on WILD.

3. Be inspired by Royals reliever Brandon Finnegan, who was in college just a few months ago and is now pitching in the World Series. To all you seniors, that’s how you get a good job after graduation next May.

4. Poke fun at the Giants and make them feel little.

5. Like San Francisco outfielder Hunter Pence, who apparently didn’t know that Kansas City spreads to Missouri. He probably thinks Wash. U. is in Seattle, too.

6. Or second baseman Joe Panik, whose last name is ripe for a “the rookie panicked!” joke when he makes a mistake.

7. Listen to Lorde as much as you can, and take advantage of the fact that you aren’t in San Francisco, where “Royals” has been banned from some radio stations until the end of the World Series.

8. Act like George Brett circa 1983 for every bad call made by the umpires, even though instant replay exists nowadays.

9. Don’t be like the Royals and get so distracted by “Clash of Clans” that you forget to concentrate on the games.

10. Grow a playoff beard; at the very least, it’ll give you a head start on No-Shave November.

11. Make sure you enjoy the games by watching with others, like Cards fans do at Ballpark Village.

12. Better yet, just go to Ballpark Village yourself and gloat that your team made it further in the playoffs than the Cardinals did.

13. Become insufferable on social media and bombard your non-KC friends’ Facebook feeds with Royals cheers.

14. And #bleedblue notices on Twitter.

15. Along with #yosted laments after each questionable managerial decision.

16. Pin your hopes on a “rally” something; recent favorites include the Angels’ monkey and the Cardinals’ squirrel. This year, it’s SungWoo Lee, the Royals super-fan from Seoul, South Korea.

17. Have a rally cap ready at all times, just in case SungWoo’s magic starts to run out.

18. Along with any other superstitious items you own, ranging from your great-grandmother’s charmed necklace to your lucky, ridiculous-looking hat.

19. Refuse to wear anything displaying the Giants’ black or orange colors, even for Halloween.

20. You think 29 years is a long time between World Series appearances? Follow the lead of Cards fans and make fun of Cubs supporters, who last saw their team play for the title when the United States and Russia were still allies.

21. Don’t break out the champagne too early. If you’ve watched any of the playoffs so far, you know that comebacks are bound to happen.

22. On that note, make sure you’re using actual champagne—don’t celebrate your team’s first World Series appearance in three decades with a can of Natty Light.

23. Also on that note, to celebrate a win, buy everyone a round of drinks at a local bar just like Royals first baseman Eric Hosmer did after winning the ALDS.

24. Or to overcome a loss, fondly reflect on the Royals’ only World Series title, in 1985, when they outlasted the Cardinals in seven games.

25. While also jamming out to the hit single “1985” at every chance possible.

26. In the immortal, Cardinals-inspired words of Jack Buck, “Go crazy, folks! Go crazy!”

27. Seriously, we mean crazy. Vow to name your next child Moustakas Ventura Yost, for instance.

28. Or commission a “Royals World Champs 2015” face tattoo because you expect your team to repeat, or rebound from, this year’s series.

29. Or assemble a Royals shrine in your dorm room dedicated to this unforgettable playoff run. We’re sure your roommates won’t mind.