Television that sets the festive mood

“The Office”—“Classy Christmas” episode 711—Pictured: Brian Baumgartner as Kevin Malone, Kate Flannery as Meredith Palmer and Zach Woods as Gabe Lewis. Chris Haston | NBC

“The Office”—“Classy Christmas” episode 711—Pictured: Brian Baumgartner as Kevin Malone, Kate Flannery as Meredith Palmer and Zach Woods as Gabe Lewis.

It’s that time of year again. Christmas lights are up, you can add a shot of peppermint to every drink at Starbucks and your tongue would freeze to the Arch if you licked it. You can’t enjoy any of it, however, because you’re currently on the second floor of Olin trying to breathe warmth into your frozen hands (seriously, where is the heat?) wondering why your one final is scheduled for Dec. 22. Although you may not feel too much holiday spirit while studying for that physics final or writing that exposition paper, Cadenza is here to get you in the festive mood with our favorite holiday episodes. The list that we have generated is perfect for procrastination and all easily searchable online. Think of it as our non-denominational gift to you.

Note: By the time Student Life goes to print, we won’t have seen what is sure to have been the awesome “Community” claymation special. And I think we can all agree that the severe lack of Mariah Carey Christmas songs on Tuesday’s “Glee” automatically makes it ineligible for contention on this list.

‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’
‘A Very Sunny Christmas Special’

If you’ve always thought Christmas specials lacked crime, depravity and a naked, sweaty Danny DeVito being birthed from a couch, then “A Very Sunny Christmas Special” is perfect for you. How do the worst people on earth spend their Christmas? Dennis and Dee attempt to “Christmas Carol” Frank as punishment for always buying what Dennis and Dee want for Christmas but keeping the gifts for himself. Meanwhile, Mac and Charlie confront their own Christmas ghosts as they realize that what they thought were typical Christmas traditions were actually bouts of petty theft and prostitution. Hilarity ensues.

Season 5: “D.E.N.N.I.S.” Top L-R: Charlie Day and Glenn HowertonPatrick McElhenney | FX

Season 5: “D.E.N.N.I.S.” Top L-R: Charlie Day and Glenn Howerton

‘Futurama’
‘Xmas Story’

It’s the end of the year, but Fry just can’t get into the holiday spirit. Maybe it’s because he can’t decide whether to buy Leela a $500 parrot or 500 $1 stink lizards. Maybe it’s because “Christmas” now goes by “Xmas.” Or maybe it’s because Robot Santa, played by a menacing John Goodman, is trying to shoot him with a machine gun. Really though, what would Xmas be without Robot Santa’s mistletoe? Sorry, I mean TOW missile. The Planet Express crew should actually be thanking the homicidal Santa at the end of the episode. If it weren’t for him, they wouldn’t have bonded through fear or gotten to sing a heartwarming rendition of “Santa Claus is Gunning You Down.”

‘Seinfeld’
‘Festivus’

So you hate what the holidays have come to stand for: Christmas music being played in October, consumerism and colorful sweaters. In that case, Festivus is the holiday for you. All you need is an aluminum pole, upper body strength and a strong sense of disappointment in your friends and family. On Dec. 23, invite everyone you love over for dinner, and celebrate with the traditional “airing of the grievances” by informing them how they’ve failed you in the past year. This is followed by “feats of strength,” a wrestling match between the head of household and a person of his or her choosing. Remember, Festivus does not officially end until the head of household is pinned to the ground.

‘Rugrats’
‘A Rugrats Chanukah’

This blast from the past was the most entertaining and informative Chanukah special of our day. Granted, we don’t remember much of what Grandma Minkus told Tommy, Chuckie, Phil and Lil about the Maccabees, but we still remember that this episode was a thing, and that’s more than we can say for any episode of “CatDog.”

‘30 Rock’
‘Christmas Special’

The episode where Liz Lemon got—wait, what’s the past tense of scam? Is it scrumped? The episode where Liz Lemon got scrumped. After being uninvited from her parents’ house for Christmas, Liz puts all of her energy into buying gifts for underprivileged children—only to be scammed by two middle-aged men—only to then go on to ruin the Christmas of their children. And the amazing Elaine Stritch is back as Jack’s mom because he backed into her with his car—and waited eight minutes before calling 911. But after Jack finds out his mother whored herself out to Mr. F.A.O. Schwarz for his childhood presents, they make up and sing a duet at the show’s end. That’s the magic of Christmas, folks.

‘The Office’
‘Benihana Christmas’

Directed by Wash. U.’s own Harold Ramis, this episode of “The Office” is one of the series’ best. After creepily photoshopping his head onto his girlfriend’s ex-husband’s in a family photo, Michael is dumped by Carol right before the office Christmas party. As a pick-me-up, Andy suggests that the boys go to “Asian Hooters” (Benihana), and despite Dwight informing the table how to best kill a goose, Andy and Michael each score waitress dates. Back at the office, party planning politics have come to a head when Pam and Karen team up against Angela and throw competing Christmas parties. Shockingly, the party with the alcohol beats the party with the crafts—but in the spirit of Christmas, Pam offers to merge the two and create one amazing, karaoke-filled holiday party.

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