As a freshman, I lost a lot of my coping mechanisms coming to college. I don’t have my mom or grandma’s cooking. I’ve managed to make myself busy with writing, volunteering, acting and schoolwork, but sometimes I can’t outrun myself. That’s when I turn to my tried and true comfort: coming-of-age films.

It started off with watching the oldies-but-goodies at my cousin’s house. “Clueless,” “Can’t Hardly Wait” and “10 Things I Hate About You” introduced me to the tumultuous, teenage world and prompted me to ask, in front of my entire family, “What’s an orgy?” Soon I demanded to be well-versed in all teeny bopper films, including “The Breakfast Club,” “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” and “Dirty Dancing.” By this time, new teen films were falling into my lap; I could boo whores like Glenn Coco and Tina, you fat lard—Gosh! Modern adolescent films like “Easy A” and “She’s the Man” represented being a teen in such a formulaic way. Clearly, I just had to pull an insane antic, and I would figure out who I was. The movies portrayed growing up as a single day when I would suddenly become wise, cool and loved.

Then I saw “Dazed and Confused.” It so perfectly encapsulated everything I’d thought being a teenager was supposed to be: kids driving around in cars all night long, making out in the woods, smoking pot, listening to good music and getting drunk. Their actions seemed meaningless, but no less silly than pretending to befriend the Plastics. Nothing ridiculous or deep happened, other than a high conversation about Martha Washington (see: hip, hip lady).

A quote in the movie sums up what happened to my teenage years: “I’d like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.” I lost the ability just to grow up in high school; instead, I had to focus on figuring out my career, greatest passions and what made me successful and happy. I had to wait for some epiphany to find me or a coconut to fall on my head. Instead, I stayed dazed and confused.

I’m not alone—when I talk to my friends at Wash. U. and other universities, we fret about “figuring out what we want” and “discovering” who we are. We’ll take a year off before grad school if need be, we’ll move in with our parents again or we’ll volunteer with the Peace Corps.

Coming-of-age films like “Dazed and Confused” taught me to relax; they blessed me with the concept of fate. Sometimes things happen; sometimes they don’t, but it will be okay in the end. I learned to cherish moments in my life like my favorite moments in the movie. Although sometimes idle and frivolous, I knew I was growing up.

My love of coming-of-age films continues at Wash. U.. Last semester, I saw “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” with a couple of my new friends. I was a little worried; did they like me? Were we going to stay friends? During the movie, I glanced at one of the girls. She was crying, entranced by the heartbroken character on the screen. As I leaned over to hug her, Charlie, that heartbroken teen, spoke: “I know we’ll all become somebody, we’ll all become old photographs and we’ll all become somebody’s mom and dad. Right now these moments are not stories; this is happening.” And I knew, just like always, that everything was going to be okay.

“The Perks of Being a Wallflower” comes out on DVD on Feb. 12.