Dan DaranciangFather Gary Braun
Catholic priest at the Catholic Student Center
Have you ever had a spiritual awakening? What was it like?
There were several defining moments, but [there] was no moment that was a total watershed. I never had a singular “born again” experience like some people talk about. For me, my turning toward faith was like a super tanker in the ocean; you can’t ever say when it is actually turning, but in five hours it is going in a different direction than before. It was a gradual process toward love.
When did that process start?
When I started thinking. It’s true. I had a great priest in fourth grade and he used to come to class and pretend like he was an atheist. He made us fourth graders prove the existence of God to him. He made me think! He was before his time and I was beyond my years in the sense that he really made me think about what this is all about in fourth grade. It was part of the creation of a hunger in me, a curiosity about what this is for, what life is about, why I am here. Those kinds of questions-meaningful questions came out big time. What does my life mean in the grand scheme of things? It led me to faith. It meant so much to me to understand that. My analogy is that there are stars in the sky and some people never look up, others look up and say, “Wow!” and some go buy a telescope. I went out and bought a telescope. I went into theology; I got ordained as a priest because I was the guy that bought the telescope. I couldn’t let it be another thing in my life; it had to be something more.
When did you decide to become ordained as a priest?
I started thinking about being a priest when I met a priest who I saw [as] an effective priest that was really affecting a lot of people. That was probably early high school, but I put it off in a lot of ways. I decided to go into the seminary and to explore the possibility and see if it was a good fit. I struggled a lot because there were issues in the institution that I didn’t know if I could mesh with and there were faith issues in my own life-doubts and struggles to believe. Faith has never come easy to me, it has always been a struggle to understand what this all means. Finally, I decided when I was 25 that it was truly self-expressive, according to my gifts, my talents, my desire and what I understand to be God’s kingdom. It made so much sense for me to dedicate myself full-time to this work. The secondary question for me was celibacy. It wasn’t like I wanted to be a priest therefore I would be celibate, but it was really important to me that being a celibate man for the sake of the kingdom would keep me on the edge of life and keep me passionate. To me, to be human is what matters, and to be Christian is a great way to be human, and to be a priest is a great way to be Christian. Each was an expression of the next thing. So to be a priest needs to make me more human in the end; more nobly human. That’s where it comes back-I just want to be the best human I can possibly be.
Why serve college students?
That emerged. I was a priest for 14 years. In every parish I served in [in Saint Louis], it seemed that there was a lot that happened between me and the college students there. I think that got me on the archbishop’s radar screen and one day he called me and said, “Would you consider doing campus ministry at Washington University?” That was 15 years ago.
And here you are.
15 freshmen classes. 15 years of WILD. WILD to me is the sacrament of Wash. U. It is when Wash. U. is truly self-expressive on every level. It is so fun!
When do you feel closest to God?
In a great conversation, when I meet another human being in an open-minded, open-ended, humble, generous, the-gift-of-one-person-to-another-person conservation. I would say that a good conversation is the juice of my life. That is when I feel closest to God.
What is your purpose in life?
To make myself more and more open to the love that is God, and at the surface be a midwife to help other people open to the love that is God. And that love is self-emptying, self-effacing, humble, generous [and a] self-gift; it is not just romance. I see that love imaged in Jesus; that is one of the things I love about Him. I see that love in Him and I think I have a lot of mistaken notions of love. But I have the clarity of that image of self-emptying love. And that is what I want to make known to people. But I don’t have to conjure it up for people; it is there and hopefully in good conversations we both open up to that love. I don’t see God up there looking down at us but I see what is happening between us as God. God is a verb.
Christians talk about the Gospel. What is the Gospel to you?
The Gospel is this inside passage through life to true joy. True joy is being utterly grateful for others’ sake. That is very counter-cultural, because you don’t get that sense from the way people choose to live. So the Gospel is a way-a revelation of a new way to perfect joy now and at the hour of my death.
If I was peeking over the fence into Catholicism/Christianity, what would you say to me?
If the shoe fits, wear it. Well, first I would say honor your own previous history; I would want to first send you back to a spiritual mentor [of [your former tradition] to see if that can be self-expressive. Next, I would say check out the way that Catholics do life, and see if that becomes you and helps bring out the best in you. If this captures your imagination and brings out the best in you, I would say, “Step in, the water is fine.”