What do you get when you try to predict a playoff series between “the best team in baseball by a long-shot” Chicago Cubs and a banged-up Cleveland Indians roster that somehow sailed through the postseason with unlikely performances from its pitching staff? Unsurprisingly, the Student Life sports section votes 7-2 in favor of Chicago, with the only two “nay” votes coming from actual Cubs fans. Whatever the outcome, Chicago will probably catch fire for the second time. Whether it’s from joy or rage is up to the Cubs.

Rohan Gupta, Sports Editor:

Cubs in 4

Let’s do this with a series of bold predictions: Jon Lester will pick a guy off. Alright, maybe that’s too bold. But he’ll at least attempt a pickoff. Kyle Schwarber will miraculously return for Game 1, hit a home run on the first pitch he sees and proceed to stink for the remainder of the series. Jason Heyward, the $184 million man, won’t start but will deliver a big hit off the bench. Andrew Miller will give up a run, on a solo shot by Anthony Rizzo, the series MVP, in Game 3. Javier Baez will hit a moon shot and strike out in about half of the rest of his at bats, but the historic ground ball will be hit his way. It will cost you close to $5,000 for the right to stand in Wrigley Field on Saturday night. Clark & Addison will host the biggest party in sports history. Grown men will weep, and small children will whoop. The first three games will be close, and Game 4 will be one long blowout party. The Cubs will win all four. None of these predictions will be correct.

Whatever happens: Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy this. It’s happening, and it will be incredible. How can you not be romantic about baseball?

Nick Kauzlarich, Staff Reporter:

Cubs in 6

I’ll be honest. As a depressed and spoiled St. Louis Cardinals fan, I’ve barely paid any attention to this postseason. Any postseason that doesn’t include multiple ninth-inning comebacks, rally squirrels, or the “best” fans in baseball isn’t worth watching. But, I do know this: The Cubs are the most resilient team in baseball. Yes, the Indians made it to the World Series without their best hitter and two quality starting pitchers, but they didn’t face a series deficit or come close to a winner-take-all game.

The Cubs, meanwhile, erased a three-run, ninth-inning deficit in Game 4 against the San Francisco Giants to advance to the National League Championship Series (NLCS) and avoid a deciding Game 5 at home. Then, they rallied from a 2-1 series deficit against the Los Angeles Dodgers with three straight victories in dominant fashion. That resilience will come in handy, as the Cubs will face a 2-0 series deficit on the road before rattling off four consecutive wins en route to a World Series title.

Ella Chochrek, Copy Chief:

Cleveland in 6

I love the Cubs. I really do. But they always manage to blow it, and I don’t see any reason why they wouldn’t manage to blow it now. Yes, they led the MLB with 103 wins. Yes, Kyle Hendricks had the lowest ERA of any pitcher in baseball (and a career year!) and the Cubs pitching staff was all-around phenomenal. And yes, Kris Bryant is the NL MVP favorite and Anthony Rizzo is sure to garner a fair number of votes, as well. Still, the Cubs are the Cubs. Even if they’re playing a much lesser team (which I would argue they are), I have little confidence in their abilities to pull off a World Series win. In fact, as soon as the Dodgers tied up the NLCS, I was pretty confident the Cubs were out of it. As much as I want the bragging rights and the loads of championship swag that my parents will surely buy me, I’ve learned that you’ve always got to be cynical about the Cubbies because anything that might go wrong will. As for the Indians? I’m not quite sure how they’ve gotten this far, but they sure got lucky with their opponent—Cleveland will take it in 6.

Jon Lewis, Contributing Reporter:

Cubs in 5

My first instinct was to try to decide the series based off the best film version of the teams, pitting the Cleveland Indians of “Major League” against the Chicago Cubs from “Rookie of the Year.” This, of course, gives Cleveland the advantage because “Rookie of the Year” is just a worse version of “Like Mike” and because of the glasses that Charlie Sheen wears when he pitches in “Major League.” However, considering this baseball series will in fact be played in real life, I have to take into account which real team is better, and that’s the Cubs. Kris Bryant, Anthony Rizzo and Javier Baez are playing out of their minds, and the Cubs proved their resilience against the Giants and then against the Dodgers—unlike Cubs teams of the past that would panic and lose two straight games because a guy in the stands caught a ball he shouldn’t have. The Cubs have had the perfect season, and as much as it would be very typical of them to find a way to lose this series, it is important to remember that they are playing a team from Cleveland that doesn’t have LeBron James on its roster. The last half-century of Cleveland sports suggests this is not a winning strategy.

Wesley Jenkins, Associate Editor

Cubs in 6

So, I’m conflicted. On one hand, the Indians are a franchise plagued with misery representing a city plagued with misery that recently had a reason not to wallow in that misery, so I’m always for giving people more reason to wallow in misery. I just really love misery. On the other hand, the Cubs have been even more miserable. Also, I’m a Cincinnati Reds fan, so the Cubs winning makes me miserable which is inherently less enjoyable than other people being miserable. Ideally, the Giants would somehow ride some even year sorcery to a World Series sweep, but the world is a cruel place, and no one cares about my happiness.

Sarah Hands, Senior Forum Editor

Indians in 5

I have loved the Chicago Cubs since before my conception. As such, I have been continually disappointed by their tendency to get close to sweet victory, only to stumble back into the eighth circle of hell.

We have an incredible bull pen, a genius coach and a shot at the World Series for the first time in two generations of my Cubs-loving family. And it’s really easy to get swept up in that, you know, and think that they’re going to win, but sometimes, the heart gets tired of hurting. In other words, everything practical points toward a Cubs victory, but I don’t want to get my hopes up.

My prediction: The series is 3-1, Indians. Game Five comes around; the Cubs are up five in the eighth. Suddenly, Steve Bartman charges from the ivy on a decrepit but magnificent goat. In a state of awe and disbelief, Jason Heyward reacts too late to a foul ball, which the goat deflects into the crying mouth of Moises Alou’s ghost (OK, Alou is still alive, but humor me). The Indians manage 15 runs in a sad victory for racists everywhere. Kris Bryant, formerly our own GOAT (greatest of all time), angrily flees with Bartman on the decrepit goat into the sunset. But wait—it’s not a sunset because the sky is just on fire. Chicago perishes in a cloud of sulfur. Cleveland becomes the new Second City, somehow. I crawl under my desk and cry out every drop of water in my body before unceremoniously dying of dehydration.

Aaron Brezel, Senior Sports Editor

Cubs in 5

Every other prediction in this article has been horribly unscientific, so I will start by offering a few basic facts. The Cubs have the second-best team on-base percentage in baseball (.343), the third best weighted runs created plus (107), the best ERA by almost four tenths of a run (3.15), the best pitching batting average on balls in play (.255) and the best defensive runs saved by over 30. The Cubs have the best this and the third-best that in just about every meaningful statistically category in baseball. Nobody was better in baseball than the boys from Chicago. Every aspect of this team was perfectly crafted in Theo Epstein’s personal sabermetric laboratory. Like Hephaestus, he sculpted a pitching staff that maximizes soft contact while his omniscient eyes scoured the western hemisphere until he assembled the best collection of young hitters that I’ve witness in my lifetime. I hate the Cubs because they are so perfect. The Indians have moxie and grit on their side, but that isn’t worth a bloody finger when the Cubs have every other conceivable advantage. A week from now, the Cubs will hoist the Commissioner’s Trophy, and Epstein will have ended his second title drought in 13 years.