Student Life Archives

Charlie the Unicorn

Editor’s Note: This article was published in an April Fool’s Day edition of Student Life. Its content is not factual.

There will be no increase in tuition next year, the Danforth University administration announced today. Additionally, all students will be provided with unicorns equipped with GPS units, free of charge.

The University announced the tuition freeze while unveiling the new Gingerbread Gumdrop dorm on the South 40. Chancellor Mark Wrighton said that the tuition freeze and unicorns are part of the University’s new “Plan for Awesomeness.”

“We feel that students should be getting exactly what they want out of college, and our surveys show that what students want is candy and unicorns,” said Wrighton. “We figured that as long as we were living in a fantasy world, we might as well freeze tuition.”

Wrighton also announced that Santa Claus will be the next dean of the School of Engineering and Applied Sciences.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 31st, 2008 at 12:00 pm and is filed under The Record. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.