The Amazing ZippoEDITOR’S NOTE: This article was published in an April Fool’s Day edition of Student Life. Its content is not factual.
When life throws lemons, some people don’t have the strength to do anything productive with them and the lemons just go rotten. What used to be a beautiful yellow fruit turns brown, mushy and useless on the inside. Others, in spite of receiving lots of disintegrating peels on a regular basis, still manage to make a pretty delicious cup of lemonade.
Take a look at Lorrie Snooter, a freshman at Wash. U. This year she has to deal with the horrors of a ripped nail and there is no one that could shoulder this burden with more pizzazz.
“I was in the dorm showers without my contacts in and as I rummaged around in my shower caddy I sliced the nail on the right middle finger in half with my Venus razor blade. It was truly painful. Since then it’s been really hard,” she said.
Snooter has been dealing with this condition for over two weeks and it’s caused her a multitude of problems.
“Well, during the first week, the cut wasn’t healing right so I was bleeding quite a lot. Band Aids didn’t really stem the flow much. I bled on my campus card when I was handing it to cashiers. Meeting people was kind of hard too, because I couldn’t shake their hands with my right hand. I’ve had to start shaking hands with my left hand, and I always have to pause before I do it because it’s not natural, so I always look reluctant to shake someone’s hand.”
Snooter has found ways to work around her problem though. For instance, since she can’t shake hands too well, she compensates with an extra friendly smile and a sunny disposition. She wiggles her nose to show that she especially likes someone. She has trouble writing because she can’t put much pressure on the nail and also doesn’t want to flip everyone else off as she writes. Snooter still goes to class, of course, though the severe stinging in her nail sometimes makes it hard for her to pay attention.
Because of her injury, it’s not possible for Snooter, an avid athlete, to participate in sports the way she used to.
“I was on the volleyball team, but since my injury my finger complains every time I hit the ball,” said Snooter.
To get in her exercise, Snooter took up tap dancing, and it turns out she might just be the next Savion Glover.
Snooter has encountered some interpersonal malice because of her cut. She says that some people see her red, black and blue appendage and sneer and turn their noses up at her.
“But you know, those people aren’t worth my time anyway,” said Snooter definitively, eyes focused straight ahead. “Besides, most people have been very warm and supportive. I told my floor what was up when it happened, and no one has acted any differently towards me. They’ve been amazing. I have really great friends.”
As she should. Keep scootin’ Snooter!