Scott BresslerIf you and your partner have decided to go to a Wash. U. sporting event and, obviously are bored and start rubbing on each other to pass the time, do remember that you can safely retire to the underside of where you are sitting-that’s right. Inside the bleachers! Crawl underneath in your furtive, seductive manner and commence said rubbing under the shiny canopy. Careful not to rock the structure; this may result in getting caught.
A well-kept secret of the newer dormitory buildings lies in their piano and music practice rooms. Soundproof and secluded, completed by a piano to seduce one’s lover with musical stylings, there is hardly a better place to whisk each other away. However, be sure to avoid rug burn, as these mini-rooms all are well carpeted.
With an aperture of six inches, the main telescope is already a dead giveaway. After staring at the non-existent stars of the greater St. Louis area, you will be so romanced that you and your partner will need to kiss, coo and perhaps even explore the Milky Way. But, don’t forget to call 314-935-OBSV before you venture over here. It’s not always open.
There’s hardly a place more famed to sneak off to with your lovey-dovey than the quiet, but impuslive lair of the elevator. Here you can push your partner’s buttons with features like the stop button for complete privacy, and even side metal bars for gripping, the only thing you have to worry about is the way sound carries down its shaft. No pun intended.
If you’re tired of scoring on home base, retreat to the next best place-the Dugout. You can dig each other; but don’t forget to tidy up afterwards. A body covered in dirt is a solid giveaway.
What’s more romantic than giant trash cans, sticky recycling bins, and the oh-so-potent smell of the rotting of your entire floor’s Bears Den routine? Oh, and these rooms even have extra large sized trash bags, so you can make a lovely blanket on the floor for you and your lover to commence upon.