It’s that time of year again: time to think over the mistakes of years past and resolve to do things differently. Everyone has something they’d like to change-and plenty of us have ideas about what other people should change here at Wash. U., especially if we believe in campus stereotypes. On that note, here are some possible 2008 resolutions for students and major Wash. U. figures.
Architecture students resolve to spend one night a month at the Olin Library so that they see their friends again before graduation.
Law students resolve to institute a silence contract for students to sign upon entering the Law Library.
Art students resolve to lobby for full-time art studio residency options.
Business students resolve to do at least two hours of homework a week to justify their tuition.
Pre-meds resolve to seek post-traumatic stress treatment after major exams.
Chemistry students resolve to stop watching all the lectures online and go to class a few times.
Anthropology majors resolve to put off picking a career path for another year.
Engineering students resolve to play World of Warcraft fewer than 40 hours a week.
Chancellor Mark Wrighton resolves to learn the Electric Slide and the Macarena for next year’s Dance Marathon.
The Danforth family resolves to conquer every building on campus by 2009.
And of course: Student Life resolves to include anyone we forgot in this article for next year’s resolutions.