Alyssa GregoryTo the reader: This article originally appeared in Student Life’s annual April Fools’ issue. Please don’t take anything in it as fact. We made it all up.
Tuesday, April 1
Social Event
Students begin reading Libel
Mallinckrodt Center
10:57 a.m.
Social Event
Students say it’s not as funny as last year
Mallinckrodt Center
11:03 a.m
Social Event
Students throw it away
Mallinckrodt Center
11:05 a.m.
Wednesday, April 2
Academic Event
Class begins as usual
Cupples I, Room 205
1:00 p.m.
Embarrassment
Man accidentally lets a really loud fart
Cupples I, Room 205
1:38 p.m.
Performance
Man acts like it was guy next to him
Cupples I, Room 205
1:39 p.m.
Thursday, April 3
Academic Event
Man meets girlfriend for study date
Wheeler 337
9:23:13 p.m.
Social Event
Man starts “studying” girlfriend (a.k.a. making woopie)
Wheeler 337
11:55:23 p.m.
Social Event
Man finishes “studying” girlfriend
Wheeler 337
11:55:58 p.m.