W.I.L.D. is back and better than ever. As always, there are new twists that promise to make this W.I.L.D. the best since, well, the last one.
The administration thinks that students will no longer have an excuse to miss the last day of classes because W.I.L.D. has moved from Friday to Saturday. Psha. Washington University students will not fall victim to any presumed na‹vet‚. With W.I.L.D. being on Saturday, that means that students will have needed a few days to pre-party.I figure professors should have cancelled class for Thursday and Friday-Spring W.I.L.D. really started Wednesday night.
There has been extra concern this semester that students will be partied out before they even reach the quad. Have no fear, thirsty students, because wine coolers are on special at Schnucks. If they run out of the less potent substitutes, the best way to ensure safe arrival to the quad is to convince your friends that after passing out, they took a trip back in time to last Friday, April 20, and, hey, look at that, it just so happens that it’s 4:20 in the morning, time to join a thousand of your closest friends in the Quad. How about that?
A lot has been said about the bands that will be playing at W.I.L.D.. For all of those who complained, myself included, it’s not as if students there are going to be able to tell the difference between the good music they would like to be hearing and what they are actually listening to. W.I.L.D. does not encourage higher cognitive criticism of why Crazytown compares women to insects with colorful wings or why all Eve 6 songs sound alike. To be fair to the Daveheads and Guster groupies, all of their songs sound alike, too.
According to incoming IFC President Wade Sutton, there are not going to be any post-W.I.L.D. fraternity parties this semester. However, for the admissions price of one can of lion paint, a WU student may take a lady friend to the SAE Thurtene haunted house for 10 minutes.
It is important to note that W.I.L.D., though organized by Team 31, has various co-sponsors this spring.
Residential Life, for example, has been involved in the planning. The first 50 students at W.I.L.D. on Saturday afternoon will receive a voucher redeemable for a large cardboard box that can be put on the Swamp for residence next year.
Special W.I.L.D. guests will include the man who sculpted that bunny-you know which one. He’s going to discuss how to get over constipation (so that’s what the bunny is sitting on) and how to present that struggle in art. In a related story, the Pre-Vet Society registered a keg for W.I.L.D..
B&D will be out in full force, and since this is Student Life’s last issue of the semester, B&D will be back to being the B&D we remember from first semester.
What a way to culminate a great school year-one of presidential debates, national championships, and more national coverage for increasing selectivity: a day of funnel cakes, enormous inflatable games, and loud, unabashed, incomprehensible music.
It is amazing that after the pressure of 36 weeks of academic rigors, students have the ability to forget it all for a weekend. Maybe that is why our school has become increasingly popular-we can study all week for Chemistry, CS, or MECO, but no one can tell us that we don’t know how to party. Eat that, Harvard.
Try to make it to W.I.L.D., at least for the inflatable games and the student bands that will play prior to the headlines, whether this is your eighth (or tenth, for those super seniors) and final W.I.L.D. or only your second.
And for those who think they will find their soul mate somewhere between the kegs and couches on the Quad, good luck. Just remember, the line, “You’re my butterfly, sugar, baby” is not a quality pick-up line just because a few overly tattooed white kids think so.