Dear Editor,
I am encouraged by the quick and appropriate response from the Phi Delta Theta fraternity regarding the homophobic comments made by a few of its members. However, I would like to respond to the comments posted online in response to your original story reporting the issue. Several students have argued that college students should be able to handle such insults, and one even suggested that the verbally-assaulted students “grow a pair.” This reflects the stereotype that men should not have feelings and should definitely not report verbal abuse, which is a significant problem in our society.
I see this thinking as an extension of the idea that using the word “gay” as an insult is not problematic. Some people who even claim to be allies of the LGBT community will use “gay” negatively because they say that they do not mean it in reference to people who identify as homosexual. What these “allies” and the writers of the online responses have in common is that they do not know the consequences of their words. Given that they have not lived as homosexuals in our society, speakers who use the word “gay” negatively cannot fully understand the thoughts of people who identify as “gay,” which has a negative meaning because of their poor word choice.
The process of coming out is already incredibly difficult. It is especially rough when friends use “gay” as an insult. It is hard enough to emerge as part of a group against which it is still legal to discriminate. Having to use the word “gay,” which is often used to mean “stupid,” can make this process even more humiliating for some who comes out.
Please be conscious of the words that you use, and the unnecessary hardship you may be imposing on others.
-Daniel Riff
Class of 2010